I wouldn't over-complicate things too much.
Just make that certain items owned by companions won't be "interactable" unless you kill them or far later in the game until a certain rate of approval is reached.
On a more positive note, I'm ready to go a couple of months full immersion with Elden Ring, so chances are I won't be pestering Larian about things I don't like for a good while.
Meh. I can agree to that. Makes sense. Simple is usually better.
I think the most simple method that still allows some flexibility is that items marked as belonging to a specific character can't be removed from that character. Could do that without locking the slot. Just code that if something is equipped into a slot that is already occupied by an "owned" item that item goes into the character's inventory instead of swapping locations with the new item. Another option would be requiring the new item to be in the owner's inventory so the owned item isn't leaving their possession when replaced.
I only suggest this so that we can easily upgrade companions without simply robbing them blind.