Just as JandK said:
You'd enjoy the game more if you never opened a monster manual.
Maybe a "technically true" statement, but keep in mind that D&D fandom is a thing, BG3 is based on D&D. Thus D&D players with experience in DMing or as players will be drawn to video games based on their fandom. You should rather be happy that they're around to raise their voice when something isn't flying the same colors as the dungeon master's guide, monster manual and PHB, because everyone's better off having an adventure experience that is closer to the real thing, rather than further away from it.
Most of these forums boils down to people who are bad at arguing, or fall victim to a very natural human reaction of not wanting to lose an argument and will shut down in cognitive dissonance and fight to the death to be right, for no good reason. Remember, we all just want a good, fun game to enjoy our free time with. But where people come from, from what angle and experience that colors their perspective on things is very broad and varied. Just like how just one table in tabletop can be very different from another, leading into why I think D&D in video games is risky business.
I DM as a hobby, and recently we had a new player join the table. He was surprised that I didn't ask him to roll for something, and initially tried suggesting that he should roll for athletics, sleight of hand, etc for things that on my table, is never rolled for. I never ask people to roll if they explicitly say they try to open a door. If it's open, I tell them that the door opens as they pull the handle. As it turns out, this player came from a table he'd been at for years, where the DM has them rolling for basically everything that isn't moving the right foot forward, then the left foot.
I say that to illustrate that both DMs and players in tabletop have very different experiences, and that influences what they think "D&D is", and they often argue from that basis. Then other D&D fans will come in and argue against them because that's not how their table is, so surely that person is wrong.
Multiply that by a hundred, then put them into a video game environment where the very format of game presentation is vastly different, remove the DM, and recognize that is just one big table with all those experiences, and those without experience, thrown into the same group, and expecting all of them to agree with "What D&D is" and how it's supposed to be played.
Yeah. Good luck :P
