He's traumatized and I feel bad knowing what he went through - and still going through - but he's still a elitist, racist, sadistic, deeply disturbed individual.
I think Astarion is definitely a character who will not leave you indifferent. On the one hand, I feel sorry for him, he is clearly traumatized, and what has happened to him is horrible. On the other hand, the character traits you mention are indeed repulsive, and I must admit I catch myself becoming a bit angry whenever he says something stupid.
So on paper, he should be a character I would not necessarily take in my party - but actually, I keep him in my party every time, and most times, my Tav will even romance him (because I really want to see where this is going, especially with a "nice" Tav).
To me, it's intriguing that despite all of his flaws, there is still
something about him. Something that makes me wish my kind hearted Tav could have a bit of a positive influence on him, and hoping he would reconsider his behaviour and attitude in the course of the game (as I said before, I'm always up for character development).
I think Neil Newbon's excellent voice acting contributes significantly to this, he gives Astarion a lot of nuance and depth. I am very impressed by his range, his Astarion is seductive, arrogant, sometimes vulnerable - and also really terrifying when your Tav mocks his trauma (I have not tried this myself, but I have seen it on YouTube. He can be really threatening).
I like that after some time, you know when Astarion is honest or when he seems to hide behind a facade, just by some subtle nuances in his voice. And of course, the animation/acting is great.
(And yes, I must admit that to me, Astarion's character design is indeed attractive. Everyone in our party is good-looking).
The dialogue scenes I like the most are those where we get to see a different side of our companions (I don't know if this qualifies as a spoiler, but I'll use the spoiler tag, just in case):
One example for Astarion would be the stargazing scene, which is, unfortunately, very easy to miss (I think it triggers before talking to Nettie, but after talking to Zorru about the githyanki creche): When our Tav suggests they could keep travelling together, after they have found the creche, Astarion replies "Good.. I don't want you to run off just yet." And continues that he needs to get some air, and clear his head, looking quite confused. To me, he seems to be genuinely confused about his emotions/thoughts, that maybe he starts to care about our Tav, somehow. Since this scene can play before or after the bite scene, I don't think he necessarily only thinks about "dinner".
I am curious where Astarion's character arc will lead.
