This word "balance" gets thrown around a lot. I feel like it's largely based in faith.
Curiously, what's the value of darkvision? Compared to the value of an extra point in charisma? Compared to the value of fey ancestory?
Can you put a numerical value to these things? Like, darkvision is worth ten points whereas superior darkvision is worth fifteen points. And so on with all the racial traits, thus proving some sort of balance?
Because I don't think you can. I think a lot of it is just arbitrary decisions, and the best you can get is that it isn't too out of whack.
Some folks might say the drow are OP. Others might think the half-elves are OP. What about the dwarf that gets a plus two in strength and constitution? Someone else might be impressed with the tieflings' resistance to fire. When you get right down to it, I haven't noticed that everyone is playing a drow because they're the undisputed best without sunlight sensitivity.
So, I guess I'm asking: where's the metric that says the drow aren't balanced just like they are in the game?
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Regarding the matter of how folks react to drow, I agree completely. I want to see a lot more racial animosity in the game, across all the spectrums.