This has indeed been discussed many times on this forum, and I agree the dialogue pacing and logic needs to be sorted.

Though as per my post in this thread I did manage to get Gale's romance in a patch 9 playthrough despite his approval jumping early on, though the quest behaviour doesn't seem reliable and may be related to what I did with the Necromancy of Thay so may not work for everyone.

"You may call it 'nonsense' if you like, but I've heard nonsense, compared with which that would be as sensible as a dictionary!"