Specifically on Ethel, I don’t think you do get the hair (which gives a stat boost) if you kill her, do you, so that’s a reward you can get only for negotiating with her? Plus there’s an implication that we’ll meet her again if she leaves so for all we know the associated XP for defeating her is only deferred not lost.
Though that doesn’t negate the general point that in BG3 you can get sometimes get significantly more XP by taking options that may not be as satisfying from an RP perspective, which I do agree with.
But I’ll confess that the more I’ve thought about this, the less it bothers me. My assumption is that there will be a level cap and that Larian will try to balance XP so that the cap is reached in late game by someone who explores some side content but isn’t totally completionist and who will take at least some peaceful solutions. And that normal encounter difficulty will be balanced around someone taking this approach. If so, then the only thing maximising XP would buy me is hitting the level cap earlier and making mid game encounters easier than they would otherwise be. And as I prefer to see my character continue to develop and get new abilities throughout most of the game and to have a reasonable level of challenge in the encounters, that’s not something that appeals to me.
If my assumptions turn out to be incorrect and Larian did offer anything I’d consider a real reward for XP maximisation, or if I find when playing the full game that I’m under-levevelled or don’t reach my character’s maximum level for the end game when I’m choosing less combat-oriented options, then I’m sure I’ll see addressing this issue as higher priority.
