It sounds like we might disagree on how much potential BG3 and the Forgotten Realms have for thoughtfully engaging with themes of gender and other weighty matters (I think there’s a lot), though I think we’re very much in agreement that what Larian has so far implemented doesn’t constitute such thoughtful engagement, and that any such engagement should be purposeful and add to the story or world building.
I think there's certainly potential to engage in weighty themes in terms of both the Forgotten Realms and BG3. The forgotten realms are a setting that I don't know much about (and neither Larian nor WotC seem interested in changing that) and as a setting given to players, I'm sure it's capable of engaging in all sorts of themes. As for BG3 in particular, I think it certainly has the potential, but I don't believe Larian theselves have interest in or are really capable of engaging in such weighty matters themselves. Certainly nothing I've seen in EA makes me think otherwise.
[quote=The Red Queen]having to then determine for each appearance what gender they “look like” which might be obvious in some cases but less so in others.
Seems legit ...
After all, Gimli himself (yes, i know Lots is different setting ... im also quite aware that Rings of Power redconed this) claimed that many people cant see any difference between male and female Dwarves ...
But in such cases, there are neutral pronouns right?
Question is, if Larian would be capable to tune it well enough to not "cross the line" ... then again, looking at oathbreaking conditions, maybe it will be better to leave this Padora's box closed. :-/
I'm curious if it's possible to tune this at all? By my very minor knowledge of programming, I would imagine that it would require assigning some kind of masculine-feminine value to every character creation trait that the game would have to add-up to determine when characters will or won't misgender you. That feels like it's opening a pretty massive can of worms on pretty much every level. Firstly, the subjectivity present in the real world regarding what is and isn't masculine alone makes that a fraught task. Then there's what is and isn't masculine within the setting, which in a setting full of varying races is even more complex. What's masculine for an elf and for a dwarf already are hugely divergent so you have to account for not only the appearance of the player themselves, but also the character in question from a racial and cultural perspective - a half-elf raised among elves will probably have a different perspective than a half-elf raised among humans. If you apply a universal standard to every NPC then that introduces a different sort of problem in that you're basically imposing a set gender binary that everybody recognises and accepts. It is a lot of work for a result that is more likely than not to just cause more problems. This is one of those things where I don't think it's worth doing if you're not basing the game around it. Plus as you alluded to, I really don't trust Larian's writers to do this well even if doing it was viable in the first place.
Rag, I'm not trans so I can't give the best answer to your question
Quite honesstly i dont think person have to be trans themselves to have opinion about this ...
Im not either ... and it catched my atention.
(
Even tho its true that most of my characters are Females ... but i usualy just like their models more. 
)
Oh I definitely have an opinion, I'm just providing context since my opinion is fundamentally an outsider's view and should be understood as such. Context is King.
Hell, I'd venture to guess that MOST players would find that frustrating
Well, that can easily be avoided by making it optional setting.
Sure, that would raise a question if such mechanic is even necesary, and how many people would actually apreciate it ... but i would dare to say: That is as usualy not in our power to figure out here.
Also ... let be brutally honest for a second, the same question could be raised to whole indentity picking. :-/
Where you and I differ on this subject is that I think this kind of inclusion should be the baseline, and that leaving it out is the thing that needs to be justified, not the other way around. I think in any game that features character creation, you should be able to play as any (real world) race, any gender and have flexibility in a character's gender presentation. I believe games should be getting toa point where not being able to choose gender identity seperate from gender presentation would be as unusual as not being able to choose to be a woman. There are certainly games where choosing your gender is purely an aesthetic choice that barely gets brought up in the game, I see Larian's choice here as an unpolished version of that for including trans characters. A rough start, but still a step in the right direction. But that's a philosophical opinion.
As for making misgendering an optional setting, I've encountered games that provide the option to turn off references to certain triggering topics like sexual assault, but they're rare, and I've never encountered a game that provides the option to turn them ON. My feeling on the matter is that if the game's recognition of a character being specifically trans ends at misgendering, then it's better off not including the misgendering. If recognition of being trans went farther than that, with NPCs actually commiserating with you because of it, maybe getting to share feelings about your experience with it, etc, then go ahead. Being trans involves more than just the possibility of being misgendered, and from a writing standpoint having that be the only time a character's transness is recognized would just be disappointing. I would go so far as to call it a genuine failure on the part of the writers if the only way they could find to make a character's transgender identity matter or be acknowledged within the game world is through something so tedious and negative. To me it betrays a serious lack of imagination, going for the most obvious, low-effort thing and not digging any deeper or putting real effort in.
