None of this makes any sense to me. I don't even know how to sympathize. I mean that sincerely, not in an antagonist, snarky, or rude way.
I'll try to summarize points already stated before by many. There are two avenues to consider here.
Firstly, there is choice and consequence. Your ability scores, race and class are a choice you make. The easier it is to undo such a choice, the less weight it has. For example, if you can change your choice of class on a whim, there is no real importance to having made that choice in the first place and it's literally demoted to the level of equipment.
Secondly, there is the issue of using self-restraint to make up for holes in the system. There is a significant difference between 'not liking a feature, therefore not using it' and 'knowing a feature is exploitable but choosing not to exploit it'. To illustrate, let me offer an example of both:
Some people don't like to play mages. Magic is an optional feature of the game, just like martial combat, and they don't have to use it. This is okay.
The broken stealth system lets literally anyone wipe entire encounters without recourse. You can choose not to exploit it, but each time you get stuck in combat you'll know there is an easy way out. Policing yourself to make up for bad design is not okay.
Some of us see respeccing entire classes in the 'stealth' category. I hope this gives you some perspective.
