It says something about the state of rpgs when people are mad that companions have their own personalities and arnt all just yandre waifus/husbandos.
I think part of the issue is a lot of people grew up on the mass effect franchise where you had 3 entire games with these companions so now they expect new games to have companions who hero big brother wordship you like Tali did even though they dont know you at all.
Look at Mass Effect Andromida to see what happens when writers try to make everyone a big family off the bat with now development, it feels hollow.
I'd advise against making conclusions about "the state of rpgs" from complaints about a handful of unfinished characters - who are presented to us this way in part precisely because those complaints can serve to improve their eventual completion. This isn't people wishing this was Mass Effect, this is mostly people frustrated by how often a few of these "companions" refuse to cooperate or outright threaten you during gameplay. By that, I don't mean they don't do what you tell them to, I mean they do and say things that are hostile for the sake of hostility and are often self-sabotaging for the character - they get handed the idiot ball just to get angy.
Characterizing this as "people are just upset they aren't getting waifus/husbandos" is wrong at best and disingenuous at worst. Some of this might be limitations to character growth that directly arise from the incomplete nature of Act I (and I sure do hope that's the real reason Shadowheart is so endlessly obstinate that her corpse after the nautiloid crash is almost equally as informative as her living self towards the end of the Early Access plot), but for whatever part of it isn't, the feedback informs Larian where either their intent with the character is not well communicated or the balance of character dispositions to populate your party with is lacking something important to the playerbase.
Personally, I have middling hopes for Lazy L and Shart, a strong suspicion that Gale will never fill out the shadow of Fane he's standing in, an opinion of Astarion that's mostly soured by the poorly framed introduction and "vampire reveal" (seriously Larian you can see the bite marks) being outliers to his general personality in my gameplay experience, and an impression of Wyll that can't get over how stupid he had to have been to sign his soul over to a clerk in the 9 hells' hierarchy so he could have proficiency with a weapon he doesn't even have the DEX to use. Halsin seems like he wouldn't want to leave the grove again so soon, and IMO the more in-character option would have been Halsin sending Kagha away with you until your tadpole infestation was cured, both so he could personally help the grove recover as a whole and, for Kagha, as punishment and opportunity for redemption
(especially if you exposed her for the Shadow Druid plot and spared her)
- but others may prioritize bear sex. Karlagh seems promising in theory but it's way too early to tell how well that translates into implementation, and I strongly suspect that Minthara is a Drow.
If I let my attempt at humor blur what I was trying to say too much, I mean the implications of her being a drow go beyond physical appearance and well into the stereotyped behavior profiles of D&D Drow - which are not great.
I really, REALLY hope that the "new character" they've teased isn't them extracting the content they intended for custom characters and congealing it into yet another "Original Larian OC: Donut Steel" with inexplicably important backstory that overtakes the later acts like some sort of infectious fanfiction affliction while leaving the custom character narratively forgotten (alright, maybe Larian's not always like that, but DOS2 was so overt about it after you got out of Early Access Island it felt like the studio's writing had been purged and replaced between loading screens), but given the timing of the reveal I suspect that's precisely what happened... maybe minus my gripes with DOS2's writing. Hopefully.
