This is metacommentary that belongs in general, not suggestions and feedback.
The idea of the fantasy as "anything goes, fully suspended disbelief" versus fantasy as a genre incorporating what Tolkien initially posited as a sort of post-ancient mythologized world is an interesting topic to discuss, and one which merits discussion. However, your primary concern with this ambiguity is to cite matters which are alienating to certain members of this community. Would you be interested in having a different topic that discusses the ambiguity between fantasy as totally suspended disbelief and fantasy as neo-mythological storytelling without citing examples that specifically distress certain people who may like to take part in this discussion?