I was really hoping the feedback of PC controller players would have gotten implemented before the PS5 release, but it feel like our recommendations either fell on deaf ears, or hasn't been implemented yet.
At the very least, there should be ways to setup a common schema across characters. It's taken me literally hours upon hours to enforce some level of standardization -- and it often gets fouled up when a weapon is thrown, or you level-up and suddenly additional wheels get added or the game "fills-in" blank spaces.
The way weapon-specific attacks, and mode-based abilities have to get re-pinned all the time is equally problematic. Like the OP notes, if you throw a weapon, or swap from a sword to a warhammer, you've suddenly lost your wheel pins for all the special attacks. Similarly, for a Barbarian with WIld Mage Rage, the special ability you get upon raging has to be re-mapped EACH TIME! In both cases, these extra/modal abilities should simply be sub-menus when you select that weapon or ability.
Lastly, spell selection remains terrible. Having to manually pin every single spell takes forever. I'd much rather select a spell-level, then have sub-wheel appear showing what spells I have prepared, and then see an up-cast subwheel (or reaction-style prompt), if that's a valid option.
And yes, we need a way to move wheels' positions to address the same issue the OP is angry about.