The writing for men in this game has serious problems to begin with, Wyll sorta being the more decent in terms of competence, but they're literally all fumbling weirdo goofs while the women are assertive, serious veterans. A single competent male character that's not comic relief would be nice. Wyll was sort of rewritten more in that direction, but he's still made out a fool with little agency. Gale's entire catastrophe is over being a lovesick, overconfident simp for Mystra, Halsin could have had potential and was just destroyed by the the goofy bestiality and poly meme writing that really ruins the high fantasy feel of the game. Astarion is a sociopathic perfumed ponce who struggles with even obtaining basic sustenance. None of the men are to be taken seriously in this game. This tiresome writing trope needs to die already.
I did notice that it seemed like casters were men and martials were women (although arguably Astarion is in between, I don't think it's out of pocket to multiclass him as a fighter and he can be a real heavy hitter in melee). And Shadowheart isn't really a martial.
But that being said, the rest of your post seems really weird to me. Like if anything Gale seems more like a Mary Sue character (So good at magic that his girlfriend was the goddess of magic herself! Pals around with Elminster!) and as far as "incompetence" goes he's the first companion to notice that something is off about your tadpoles besides Lae'zel, who knows from explicit experience. And Astarion's whole thing is that he was a vampire spawn that just managed to break free from his master. Like I don't know what your point about him is? Halsin I don't know how he is since I think he's boring and I just don't like him.
I also don't think the women are all "serious, assertive veterans." Even the one that would qualify most for that (Lae'Zel) has her goofball moments (watch how overdramatic she is when she describes the gory details of mind flayer transformation). (And speaking of Lae'zel, she is also a far bigger simp for Vlaakith than Gale is for Mystra, at least in the first half of the game.) Shadowheart is probably the most emotionally even-keeled of the women but she comes across more as an increasingly-in-denial brainwashing victim. Karlach is a huge softie for someone who's spent years fighting in hell.
It seems to me that all the characters have moments of competency and silliness regardless of gender. If you wanted to pick one out, Astarion is probably leaning more towards the comic relief side for the men, while Karlach is for the women. (Although I think Astarion is funnier.) But what baffles me even more is that you think Minsc would fix this. Minsc's whole THING is being a comic relief character, and yes this extends to the originals too if you have not played them.
