Most other games handle this by making all romantic paths and options be distinctly and firmly player-initiated, and non-present if the player does not make the first move; this is done not from a poor writing or fantasy fulfilment angle, but specifically as a tool to provide exactly what you're asking for - the ability for players to engage with or not engage with content that may be unappealing or uncomfortable to them, while still making it a natural and smoothly present element for those who are interested in it, knowing that the latter will be the majority to *some* degree. There's a reason it's been a standard tool used in RPGs across this genre and others for decades.
Larian either don't know, or don't care about this, and haven't availed themselves of it... and the result is that there is no clear player-first initiation of any romance, and no pathways that pursue positive relations with your companions without diving headlong into full romance and physical intimacy... The fact that they released a game where you cannot have positive relations with your companions without jumping in the sack with them, and cannot turn them down without basically being the worst kind of arsehole to them, regardless of the character you're playing... That is the most ludicrous thing here, I feel. Friendly companions and trusted commrades should be the *Default* outcome of positive relations with your allies and companions, with romantic attachment being something specifically moved towards outside of that... instead we've got a game where the former isn't really even possible, or so it seems in many cases.