Thank you all so much for your support and kind words. I hope, this is not seen as a cry for attention, but to give a voice to things that can be difficult to comprehend.

You are all lovely people and I am certain you are all speaking from a place of good intentions, even when we don't agree. I hope Halsin's romance in time will be created with variety like the other romances.

I have deleted my character/save game and discontinued my fic for now. I hope that at some point these issues with Halsin will be addressed.


I just realised something, and wrote this to sort of express it:

Zalia (my character who romanced Halsin) to Halsin:

My dearest Halsin,

I am sorry for writing like this to you, but I was concerned that if I did so in person I would not get everything of my chest. Things that I have been supressing and have gone unsaid for too long. I also hope that by me doing it this way, it will give you the opportunity to reflect on what I am trying to say, without it feeling like I am attacking you, because that couldn't be further from my intent.

As time passes I am becoming more concerned with the fact that you are not in love with me, but with how I make you feel. I do love you, but the restrictions you are proposing on what we could be would leave me walking on eggshells around you. I would not be able to express my thoughts, because they might make you feel chained. I would not be able to dream of a future, or make any sort of plans with you, because you refuse to debate them. Even less so commit. My wishes would have to be kept quiet at all times to accommodate your wishes alone. Being with you under these terms would limit my independence and silence my voice. What you propose as freedom for us both, would in reality be a prison for me.

To me, loving you means accepting you as the individual you are, and always respect your agency above all. But loving you also means being honest about what consequences your behaviour might have, so that you are not taken by surprise if something just happens. Loving you means being able to express my opinion, but giving you the choice of what to do with it. And loving you means accepting your input as an expression of love, not hostility, listening to it as objectively as I can, and being able to listen and compromise when necessary. Being romantically involved with you, would only be gratifying for me if you are a partner not just a lover. My confidant that I can turn to in need, my friend who I can laugh and share my troubles with, a stable part of my life that I can rely on when everything else goes to the Hells. Loving you is more than being your lover, and is the encompassing of many types of relationships on equal footing.

But more than anything else, I want to respect you for who you are, because who you are is the man I fell in love with. This real person, who I adore and not a fantasy I created in my head.

I will always be here for you, but I would like you to reflect on your relationship as I have. And come to terms with what loving me means to you, and if you can ever truly be provided the freedom you require without compromising us both.

I love you dearly.

With all my heart,
Zalia

Last edited by Cowoline; 07/10/23 11:05 AM.