There are two triggers for the romance convo that lead to two different versions of the it - high approval and meeting Araj. So, by talking to Araj before the romance convo happened you triggered it. I find that the convo you get after Araj is an inferiour version and I try to avoid it by not talking to her until my character had the talk with Astarion (or rather he with my character).
Maybe this is why it felt different what I remember it being then.
I wasn't going out of my way to fish for Astarion points this run so I don't know if I'd still be able to get my approval that high without either the +10 from talking to Araj or finishing the quest at this point.
I just went to compare it to my original run's save file named "Pre Astarion Romance" which I would presumably have saved the night before his talk, but he's only at 76 approval in that load and nothing happens when I long rest with it (the save after it is at 79 approval and in a relationship).
It seems like they may have just adjusted the approval threshold for the conversation then, which may have skewed which conversation players are more likely to get based on progress vs approval?
