I don't know, it has a ton of views and replies. So I have at least a slight bit of hope that this topic would be addressed. But still, this whole thing kind of makes me feel like dirt if Im gonna be honest. I know it's a game, but I still hate this feeling.
As things get longer more people take a look. But - to put this as kindly as possible - that isn't a measure of quality. I came here because of the length of thread and was shocked to find a small number of people who post very often have somehow convinced themselves the poly romance partner is - deep in her heart - a monogamist. But the argument just doesn't hold up.
Originally Posted by Netav
Again, she denies any poly proposal from player with Karlach(she's attracted to her at least) or Astarion. But she is ok with an idea of having casual sex without any hard feelings(or relationship). Doesn't that mean that she is ok with an open relationship, but not poly(she wants Tav for herself)?
Here's a good article that lists was people think of primary partners / nesting paryners / anchor partners. As Tav likes to say "first in my heart". SH wants to be first in Tav's heart:
And using the terms in that list she feels hurt and jealousy with Mizora but compersion when Tav asks about being with Halsin. To me this seems a very consistent poly principle - ask first, not asking is cheating.
Now you are on to something that SH's desire to "first in Tav's heart" is so strong she might qualify as monogomish*. She only wants Tav to be with people who won't threaten her primary relationship. Karlach is a threat, Halsin is not. Note that she also says no to the twins if she and Tav haven't had sex by themselves first. She wants to establish base camp and then go exploring.
* (and if you start doing some research your will *hundreds* other terms
But...it's not? Like, just reading through this and I have to say something here because it seems to me that you are reading WAY into what isn't there. For example, the whole 'primary' thing. There is no negotiation there. She isn't setting boundaries, expectations or ultimatums in that conversation because the context is her offering to break it off entirely when the subject is brought up at all. Saying she just wants to be the primary in a poly arrangement, when she doesn't even try to do just that, doesn't hold water at all.
The second issue is you taking poorly written out-of-character moments as not being poorly written OOC moments. The same thing can be seen in the characterization of the Emperor, where if you are trusting or suspicious, the game will always prove you right. Even if you flip flop between conversations, exposing the lack of coherency. SH suffers from the same thing, such as making a quip about relationship drama to my Durge, conveniently forgetting her prior experience with relationships (little) and the fact that she has amnesia. Starting the romance she tells you casual flings aren't a Sharran thing, but if and only if you cheat does she pull a 180 and say the exact opposite. This is not a reflection of her being interested in open or poly, it's the writer bending over backward to 'justify' the player's romantic decisions.
Third is, while you can make an argument for an alternate interpretation of one thing, it does not happen in a vacuum. Further developments and additional context should inform of your interpretation of that first thing, not the other way around, especially when it starts not making a lot of sense or starts reaching.
