Cool, we ignored main argument again I guess. Wine dialogue is that she only say's "not today", both side can headcanon this I agree, alright.
Can you tell me what I am "headcanoning" in her poly proposal rejects though? She just says no. "In truth, I don't think I'd want to be your spare lover. I'd always want more of you than you'd have to spare."
As I've said repeatedly. That interpretation of the words is not inconsistent with a desire to be a primary parter / nesting partner / ect.
You may not like my interpretation but I have responded to that point repeatedly. I think you have shallow reading of the conversation and that my interpretation is consistent with the options in chapter 3 while yours are not. Which is the point of this thread. A small number of high engaged people would like to see their interpretation of SH be the only one.
