I didn't read all of your post, but I found myself allot things annoying, tedious tot he point of nonsensical. It looks like allot work to catalogue all of it though. Baldurs Gate 3 does have a very finicky control scheme. I can't count how often one of my characters did a move in combat that I did not intent. Just because the character suddenly started to move unintentionally and caught an attack of opportunity or did something else totally stupid. One of the chief offender is that cursor, the ground beneath it should light up in my opinion.
I could go on, but... I would need to start noting down the myriad things that annoy me. Among them the stupid Tooltips that always only tell half a story.
