Hi, I'm a polyamorous person (who has been lurking shadowheartgiggle).

Background: I'm weighing in because there's a lot of back and forth about whether the people discussing this are actually poly. So, I just wanted to give my input, and I hope it's welcomed. I'm part of a larger polycule, with many forms of poly orientation in this constellation.

My request: Would it be possible if we could start referring to Halsin as "consensually non-monogamous" instead of "polyamorous"? Because the way Halsin is represented, he doesn't fit into polyamory.

Halsin's unwillingness to commit to a romantic relationship and his reservations about exclusivity wouldn't really define him as polyamorous. Polyamory typically involves being open to or actively engaged in multiple romantic relationships simultaneously, which doesn't seem to align with Halsin's current disposition.

Halsin's preferences fall more within the realm of non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy. His specific approach and reluctance to commit to any or more partners means that he doesn't really fit into polyamory.

I would also say that, to me and based on my knowledge of relationship anarchy, he seems more relationship avoidant and R-A.

Personally, within my polycule (and this will not be true for everyone), Halsin would not be considered a part of it, but rather a casual fling. What I don't like about him being referred to as polyamorous is that it conveys people's misconceptions. From my own experience, I'm hurt that people believe I don't really care to invest time and effort into my relationships just because I have more of them. That couldn't be further from the truth. So, I'm actually sad to see this. And Halsin's responses make it seem, to me, like he is there for the temporary fun, but not the actual to make something longterm and of more than immediate value.

I've seen some make the argument that polyamory cannot be depicted in video games, so I would encourage looking into these examples:

When the Night Comes - Lunaris Games: Has two polycule options (four different characters), and they are so adorable, thoughtful, and considerate. There is communication, healing, and the establishment of what the polycule is and will be. There is even a three-way commitment ceremony/marriage, and it's so lovely!

Knight Errant - Lunaris Games: Here, there are also two polycule options. While I think one is better depicted than the other, they are both lovely and respectful.

Establishing these relationships would not have taken more content than what has already been presented in BG3 - which is such a shame. For those who want some wholesome and accurate poly-content, I really recommend these!

I wish that Larian would take a look at these examples, because it is absolutely feasible to add it to the existing content, and make it wonderful. galehearteyes

As a final note: I won't judge whether or not Astarion, Karlach, and Shadowheart are poly-interested, but I will say that as a poly person myself, I would never force the issues with the responses from Karlach and Astarion.

For me personally, if someone in my polycule was as traumatized as Astarion, I would not encourage him to engage in an orgy. If the request specifically came from him, it would be a different matter, but at the state where Astarion is in the game, I feel like I would personally be irresponsible for the part I have played in his well-being. With Karlach, that short discussion would definitely not be comfortable without pressing the issue without further conversation. I am as responsible for what I put into the relationship as they are for their contribution and allowance. People in polycules have different needs and expectations, and as a part of it, it's my responsibility as a partner to prioritize those needs with open communication, compromise, patience and understanding.

In polyamory it is also possible to cheat, and in regards to Karlach, it feels like very pressured consent. With her reaction, I would not leave to go be with Halsin right away, but have stayed with her, reassured her, and loved her, so she felt that it would not mean any loss for her.

Polyamory is about truly and deeply caring and treasuring each relationship, but this comes off as an inconsiderate gimmick at the cost of the characters involved. As a poly person, I felt sad and just wanted to truly love and hug them.

I've seen polyamory done well on a lower budget and resources, so the fact that this aspect is subpar was actually disappointing to me.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk! wyllhappy