I respectfully disagree. D&D holds a mystique for many that no other IP can fill. I have played so many CRPGs, even DoS2 and just could not stop thinking "man I wish this was D&D."
For the others, 5e rules are the distillation of several decades of playtesting to find that balance. Kinda like democracy, it is the worst system ever except for all the others.
Now one thing I think that new players or only CRPG players tend to miss is that Wizards and Warlocks and the other classes are normally positioned as rare in the world.
BG3 does this differently because it has to to make a compelling game and does it perfectly. Keep in mind however that as far as D&D campaigns go BG3 is super-fast-paced, VERY dense with encounters. You would not see so much magic in a tabletop D&D game except from your own party and maybe at the end.
Regarding your last couple of paragraphs, this is where the DM and the players around a table top use the D&D rules to tell a collaborative story. The computer game cannot possbily account for the level of granularity you describe, as that is expressed via role play normally. What you are asking for is a custom class where you pick the bonuses. D&D and BG3 can already be min/maxed to absurdity.
Larian did a damn fine job in implementing 5e, but after level 12, or level 9 spells, casters become world breakers.
