No, that would be Wyll on both accounts.
No, Astarion is indeed one of her options at the party. That's been a Thing Which Happens since EA and it's still in the game.
Maybe it never triggered in my games because I romance Astarion.
But (!) I also remembered a banter between SH and Astarion, where he said something like "Why such a beautiful flower is so sad" with SH's answer "Go away, I heard you rehearsing that line."
Kind of flirting with expressively "business-like", since Astarion is already known by this time for using sex and seduction as protective tools.
However, I do not remember if it is still in the game or one of the data-mined banters
