Shadowheart has one line: I think, we should get to know each other better. That triggers here wine scene. But if you start anything with anyone else, that line isn't there anymore.
I found out, because I was undecided,whom to romance with my gith mage, if she would fit with Shadowheart or Gale or someone else.
I had that line with Shadowheart, until I accidentally started the romance with Karlach and decided to go with it
That must be why because me picking Astarion. I do remember one playthrough where I didn't choose anyone for a time and had an option with Shadowheart saying "I think we may have missed an opportunity" or somewhere along those lines. Thanks for your feedback.