Even WoW use respecing with some limits- like you can’t change your Druid into a Paladin just because you feel like it and loot is based on class and is soul bond so you can’t use your druid to farm items for your paladin so if you make a paladin you have to grind gear with him.
Same with even Diablo 4 you can’t change your rogue into barbarian just because you feel like it.
In BG3 they did this for the same reason they made everyone “playsexual”- they didn’t give anyone sexual preferences out of fear that people would complain that they can’t date X character and feel discriminated etc.
But in the end, life isn’t fair and again- in old school RPGs you had to work around what Nps are avaliable to you and not just respec everyone into whatever you like and this trivialize the experience by making team of the most OP builds possible
You have already created a self-imposed challenge for yourself by soloing enncounters. It's very weird that you're complaining about being able to "cheat" within your own self-imposed challenge. A party of four doesn't need Withers to adjust their tactics based on an encounter, so Withers is very inconsequential, apart from his quality-of-life function.
There's also some very weird nostalgia going on for the older RPGs. The gameplay of the original Baldur's Gate games was a mess. You didn't so much win as figure out how to exploit the system. Especially the "challenging" encounters, which often only had one right way to approach them. Sometimes they had no "right" way to approach them. It was frustrating to an incredible degree. And what's more, character building didn't really matter back then. Party building would, and you could change your party very easily, but you'd have to actively try to mess up a class. Which again, makes it weird that you're complaining about respec.
What Larian has created is much, much better. There are now many different ways you can resolve even the most difficult encounters. Sure, the balance is out of whack, so people often default to certain playstyles, but that can be tweaked. To a degree, that can even be self-tweaked. There was no tweaking the original BG games.
As for your strange non-sequitur on sexuality, I'm not touching that one.
