Ok, so I'm kinda having a hard time understanding the ask here for some of these comments. Like, yes, the options are overly assumptive about the players motives, but his behavior post ascension is legitimately abusive. A character who's going to stay with him needs to reconcile that in some way unless you're a doormat who wants to be walked over.
He’s not abusive in my RP - I envisioned a cross between Frank N Furter and Dracula and that’s exactly what I got. It may not be to everyone’s taste but that’s why this is an RP. .
I hope, you realise, that you just named two posterchilds of abusive behaviour. Both Frank'N'Further and Dracula are highly toxic and abusive and I'm more than a bit troubled, that you would use them as examples for not abusive behaviour. But then, people are trying to excuse Edward Cullen and Christian Grey, who frankly both belong in jail.
Edit: I'm not really interested in talking about ascended Astarion, but I'm very familiar with both Bram Stokers work ( and I'm not talking about the mostly unfaithful movies, I'm talking about the book) and the Rocky Horror Show and had to pinch in here.
Based on your speculation, all vampires are offensive and toxic. But in those days it was an example of romanticism. I mean, the girls even liked gaslighter Lestat, so... I don't see that as a problem. Modern views on past images can spoil your impression. You should also know heroines of these novels rarely showed aggression towards their "abuser". They're fascinated by them. Which leads us to the fact that regardless of the behavior evil character, we can still show sympathy for him. But I still don't see anything so offensive in the question "what do you want", sorry. The image of Dracula is also considered sexy, romantic and dangerous, that's the point. This is not news.
