The other crappy thing that was discussed on the forums about this exchange and actually the whole path is that as soon as Astarion ascends you cannot even tell him you love him. You can only ask him for a bite and sex or create conflict. The game assumes you're a selfish asshole who pursues him for their own goals or is terrified of him and has buyer's regret. It doesn't allow you to roleplay otherwise. The only semi-romantic option is telling him you hoped he'd learned to love you, but it still doesn't specify that you do. You can only lecture him about how you loved him before ascension.
O wow, you’re totally right. Unlike Durge, Tav has no way of confessing they love him. At best they can tell him they care about him. That’s really sloppy.
Durge can confess they’re in love during the resist the urge to kill your companion scene, and they again have the option to reaffirm their love after rejecting Bhaal.
