The two of you just aren't meant for each other. You should see other people. It's not you, it's her.
Shadowheart is very open about sexuality in general, so trying to form her into your personal ideal was doomed from the start..
Her ending is like the most tradwife fantasy imaginable where you both retire to a farm alone together and all her dialogue is about how genuinely happy she is to do so. So I cannot agree that you're shaping her into anything when it's literally what she wants.
