I'm not surprise attacking anything. I make a point of initiating dialogue first.

I don't even prep. I walk around with the same spells selected. I never use strength potions. I never respec after my original build. I don't use water with lightning or cold.

It's just, well, take Thisobold, for instance. It's a fight I just finished a bit ago. I stood on the ramp leading down to him... the one facing him. The scene triggers. I tell him I'm not drinking. Combat starts. I cast sleet storm. He can't get to me. Neither can the undead beside him. From range, my main and Shadowheart take him out, spell by spell. I'm talking cantrips. I'm using ray of frost on my main. Meanwhile, Lae'zel and Minthara are cleaning up the other undead, only one of which (the actor) even got close enough to try to hit us. Again, the whole encounter goes by with zero damage to my party. Shovel stayed invisible the whole time, not bothering to intervene.

This is what I'm talking about. It's not difficult.

*

As far as mods, I tend to avoid them. I'm sure I'll use some in time, eventually, but that will be some time after the definitive edition is released.