The way the game presents different relations and sex it clearly is meant to sometimes be taken lighthearted and written as crude jokes (mature audiences and all that). Obviously bear sex was never intended as a serious intimate scene for example.
I think all the Sharess´Caress scenes are supposed to fall into this category, but in the case of Gale and Astarion they are both in poor taste to me. Gale being coerced into something he is hesitant towards, and being uncomfortable and cringing at the prospect, is not funny to me. Neither is Astarion going into disassociation and having a traumatic reaction.
If the writing had been intended as more serious and if they had chosen to give Halsin a more serious role rather than just sex jokes, I would have given Halsin the role of using this as a teaching moment. Instead of joining he would be lecturing Tav on how sex can be great and fun when everyone are participating willingly and on equal terms, but he does not condone it when it causes discomfort. Instead he becomes an enthusiastic and willing contributor to something which causes these people discomfort and adds another layer of uneasiness by also adding a dialogue with the suggestion that sexual abuse can be fun and enjoyable (re-written in the latest patch to make it slightly less disturbing, but it is still weird to throw that into this context).
I also agree with the notion that some of you bring up that for some reason it is more ok to make these jokes and laugh about male character´s reactions and issues towards sex. If you replace the character in the Astarion or Gale scenario with Shadowheart, I think there would be a much larger criticism that it is not appropriate. The criticism towards Shadowheart not being purely monogamous for some reason garners much greater attention than the fact that two male characters are put into sexual situations that they are not comfortable with or causes trauma and we are supposed to...laugh at it I guess?
As said in a different thread, the whole drow twins orgy is best to just avoid and ignore.
