"The most traumatising romance for me was with Alistair in DAO when he stayed as a warden, you didn't let him sleep with Morrigan and you died as a hero by leaving him at the gates. He doesn't even show up on your funeral - probably too grieving to handle it. That gaming moment destroyed my old, idealistic self and made me realise that sometimes doing a shitty, questionable thing will actually work out better for you. That the world is not black and white but full of shades of grey, and that heroic sacrifice is a dumb thing to do when you can live a happy, adventurous life with your lover, friends and pets instead."
That's right, and that's exactly what happens with Astarion. In DAO, I also started a romance with Alistair, but then I met Zevran, rebooted, and preferred a romance with him. And with Alistair, indeed, if you act like a "hero without fear and reproach", you get very bitter and tragic...
"I heard that romance with Astarion can be heart-wrenching and I saw his reaction after the breakup when you refused to be his spawn and was astounded, wondering what had happened to him after watching his playful scenes from EA."
Yeah, after that reaction, you're ready to get on your knees, on your head, just so it doesn't happen. If you go up to him afterwards, you can see that he is angry at Tav as a traitor, turns away so that you don't see his face, you can see that he feels bad.
"I allowed all companions to do what they wanted in their personal quests, because I didn't think my chara should interfere. These were really drastic and life-altering choices and it felt strange telling them what to do when they've all known each other for several weeks only. Everyone should be responsible for themselves and live with consequences of their actions - I didn't want to have that burden and be responsible/blamed if something went wrong."
Very interesting option, in the next playthrough I want to do that too. It's realistic and makes the game more interesting.
"During the ritual or not choice I was panicking a bit that he might lose his soul."
I was regularly plagued by this question even before the ritual. When Tav goes to bed at the beginning of the third chapter (before that there was a conversation with Astarion about the ritual), and there's an "inner dialog" that starts with something like "You can't sleep," I totally agreed with that, how can you sleep, what to do with this ritual, my God! And then "Ahhh... So you don't mean that, okay... Let's pick some line like "I'll do it as I do it, something will work out".
"I wanted to help him ascend but then I chose to explore all dialogue options before committing to my designated choice to see what would happen. I was disappointed with Tav's options - you convince him by guilt tripping him mentioning the other spawn, or tell him YOU WANT him to be proud of his life. It felt weird to suggest things like that to someone who'd had no autonomy over themselves and who no one'd cared about. It's basicly telling him 'you've suffered so much, but it's a hero thing to be altruistic even if it means you will be miserable going forward' or 'it's what you want but this is what I want, doesn't matter you will be miserable but at least you can feel good about yourself for being such a good guy'. The most nonsensical comment is about the power trapping him, because they don't know all the details about the ritual and how it would affect him mentally, Tav is basically throwing bs in his face considering the ritual had been consistently presented as something that would actually free him from his physical ailments and weaknesses."
I agree 100%. Because that's exactly how it is.
The more you learn the facts, the longer you play the game, the clearer it becomes that Ascension for Astarion is his only real path. And the rejection option is just a trap.
I sincerely enjoyed your post and your deep insight into the plot. Thank you.
