Originally Posted by Anska
I think he deserves better than becoming a god. I don't care much for gods personally and the story suggests that all gods, who used to be mortal, loose a part of themselves to their divine domaine at some point. Why would I want that for a character I care about? And what do you get from divinity in the end? A glorified, boring management position. He himself mostly seems to want it to get back at the gods (Mystra) and because he thinks his god-self would be the "best possible version of himself". I disagree. He is brilliant as a human, that already is the best version. Nobody needs gods - but brilliant, kindhearted, generous people are far and few between.

Yes, it's a deep and human take on the story. I also used to not want Astarion to lose the light and life that was in him and turn from a charming, impulsive and sensitive person into some kind of "powerful villain". I dreamed of "healing" him and giving him back what was taken from him. It turns out that the game actually "silences" this humanistic perception within the player by how cruel the world treats Astarion if he is not ascended. For Gale, the situation is thankfully much better, he can give up the Crown and move on happily ever after. I realize that after this "Astarion = Spawn" story, I've become more paranoid about the game world, with a "safety first", "enemies everywhere", "strength comes first, otherwise you can't protect yourself and (much more importantly) the person you care about" attitude. That's why I'm now trying to "stuff power" into my companion friends as well. I'll have to rethink that.


Originally Posted by Anska
I think the patience to allow him to come to terms with his own feelings and give him space. It's the decent thing to to do but I don't see anything wrong with him telling you that it means a lot to him. For example, I saw a lets play of someone doing the love test with Astarion. The player picked all the answers that revealed Astarion's insecurities to the dryad and - of course - Astarion disapproved. The player then complained because she thought that they had moved past all the deception and that Astarion *should* have approved of her choices. That is what I would call not being patient - and also rolling a nat 1 on insight.

I had that dryad scene in my game, and I honestly didn't like it. I absolutely didn't want to pull Astarion's main pain and fear out into the open in front of some unfamiliar character. That's exactly what Astarion himself disapproves of, which now makes me regret that I fell for the dryad's opinion at the time and overplayed the scene. When you choose the line "Astarion fears no one. Everyone is afraid of him," Astarion is happy about it, he approves of it, he understands that you know how it is, but you support him. Dryad, on the other hand, puts a lower rating on your feelings, which confused me and made me end up responding with "the way things are", thinking that it must be important and necessary for something. I would never do that in reality though. Astarion recognizes that you "know him better than he thought", yet he's clearly uncomfortable with it (and the -4 endorsements are a testament to that). He's being discussed, he's being "moralized", and now I see this scene as an example of disrespectful, not tactful, and not cherishing a loved one.


Originally Posted by Anska
Nothing really changed but my perception of the world and me in it, and that changed everything - the Graveyard scene captures that for me (and a few other things) while everything I have seen of Ascendent Astarion is just majorly anxiety inducing for me.

One might ask, is it something specific that is troubling or his behavior in general? He still looks with love, smiles, and occasionally shows good feelings as before. For example, Astarion approves when you speak harshly to Ethel and demand the child back, and approves again when you rescue the child. You can look at the expression Astarion looks at Hope with (when she tells stories of her torment in Raphael's captivity), and several other things show that Astarion does not turn into some kind of evil after the Ascension, but is still Astarion.

One life, one love - until the world falls down.