The rules of vampiric existence (Always dominate. Power comes from solitude. Do not act in haste.) are considered valuable lessons for the vampires, so driving them home would make the spawn stronger - either a stronger slave or a worthy heir, should they eventually best you. Velioth seems to have taken his eventual defeat with grace. He seemed proud of Cazador to me.
I also had the feeling Vellioth was proud of him. Not with Cazador though. He looked genuinely horrified and shocked that he got outplayed by Astarion.
Originally Posted by Anska
Act 1 shows that no matter how much Astarion hates Cazador, he does approve of the rule one and two and tries to enact them. The third rule is the one he has problems with, it's also the one that Cazador goads him with at the start of the ritual, where Cazador tries to make him careless. But despite his temper, Astarion has learned that lesson too, he after all does research the ritual in detail and while threatening the spawn in the flophouse, he doesn't actually burn Petras. Early-Game and Ascended Astarion is of course himself but he is very much Cazador's heir in his morals and everything else that he inherits from him - the ritual, the palace, the lifestyle and of course the rules.
With domination I agree, though the example in the game given in Cazador's case doesn't hold water when it comes to Astarion, because he has no problems letting Tav see their friends. The second rule is not something he enjoys and wants, he complains about having been alone and no one caring about him. He also sounds sad in the epilogue when he mentions being lonely and missing friend Tav, as well as Tav who broke up with him. The rule also states 'to share with others is to be weak' and he does share everything with Tav (the palace and the power, they make decisions together). When Cazador rebelled against Vellioth he punished him very severely. All Astarion does when Tav challenges him is laugh in their face, complain about their lack of gratitude, throw in some spiteful remarks and promise them all sorts of pleasantries so they stop whining. Rule number three is something he often fails at and seems to like doing anyways - he loves chaos too much. He doesn't burn Petras, because he's not really out for his blood, only Cazador's, and he knows he needs him alive for the ritual. He likes casual murder but he also knows when to be smart about it. A good example of it is when he scolds Durge if they kill Isobel, and tells them they could have used her for leverage. There is another rule that he breaks (with spawn Tav too) with great pleasure, which is being forbidden from drinking from thinking creatures.
Originally Posted by Anska
If Astarion always wanted that? I don't know, he doesn't seem to remember much of his mortal life and the only thing we can gleam from his early vampiric life is, that he had a soft spot for the sweet ones. But that can mean a lot of things. It might have simply been nice to be with someone none-threatening for a change.
I don't believe him when he says he doesn't remember it. He dismisses it as ancient history and says years of torment made him forget, which sounds like an excuse. It's in his interest to present himself in such a way that Tav would feel compassion for him and to do that he'd omit some naughty stuff about himself. If I recall correctly, Dalyria remembered her mortal life very well and wrote about it in her journal.
Originally Posted by Anska
On the bored spawn-husband. That made me laugh, btw. My impression is, that he treats you like he treats everybody else. Which I really like. As I have written above, Astarion does not seem to like talking about feelings in public. Whenever he wants to talk about feelings, he takes you aside. All other conversations are treated as public or semi-public by the game. After his confession in act 2, he is basically convinced that you will sooner or later dump him because he has not much going on for him besides a whole lot of issues. So he is at least trying to give you the full romance treatment in your conversations as an incentive to stick around.
During the graveyard scene he tells you that he feels seen by you, in other words you understand him. As a consequence he can now stop being a well trained love-monkey around you and just treat you in a more relaxed manner. He now knows you care for him and not just for his flamboyant, charming persona.
Glad you had fun reading it. That was one of the first videos I saw of his spawn path and the difference in his behaviour was very striking after finishing the ascended path in my game. I can understand him not acting so seductive anymore and being more relaxed, but him losing his spark and humour is lamentable to me. Yes, he doesn't like talking about his real feelings, no matter who he ends up as.
Originally Posted by Anska
The only thing I do dislike about that dialogue is, that you cannot thank him for the impact he made on your life in return. This might be difficult for a normal Tav but Origins (including Durges) would have reason to thank him for his support during their quests. - I can tell Mystra that Astarion is the reason Gale is still around, but I cannot tell Astarion. ;_;
That sucks! I guess all the resources went into tailoring Karlach's origin to his romance.
Originally Posted by Anska
With Ascended Astarion all the highly romantic lines and flourishes about eternal life and being a power couple are performative, they are (to my understanding) intended to spin Tav along by telling them what they want to hear (all those nice words), but also to present an image to the world, one in which you are a power-couple but in which he also is your generous masters. A demonstration of strength, if you will. During the last night alive he reverts back to his I-need-a-cough-drop voice and his preferred manipulation rhetoric "this is what you want, isn't it". Should you try to break up with him after the tadpoles are removed, he tells you how things are, you are lucky to be is special spawn, who is allowed to be at his side while he rules. He now embodies the rules of vampiric existence without regret and finalised his plan from act 1 to make sure Tav never turns from him. If Tav never rebels, Tav will never know. If the collar fits, it doesn't shave. It's a great dark ending - just a bit too real for me to enjoy as a fictional romance.
I agree about the performative aspect, but I also view it as a way for him to playfully express his feelings instead of being all serious, which he feels awkward about doing. Very deep down he's a bit of a romantic. In my game he opened Ketheric's chest and read the Chosen wife's letter to him and he was moved by it. It seems like he'd been entertaining the together forever idea for some time. I've already mentioned some examples earlier but I forgot about another good one - when the spawn try to bring him to Cazador it sounds like he has a slip of the tongue when he says he's doing it for you both to make sure you're safe "forever". Then he uses the more appropriate term "for good". I think he's waiting with his proposition to turn Tav and doesn't even ask hypothetical questions if they'd like that so as to not spook them before the ritual. He's likely also scared of rejection.
I concur that it's a great dark ending. There are hints that he'd planned things for Tav early in the game and he'd do whatever it takes to not lose them. Even if Tav rebels, he's still smothering them with love, because he has this fantasy life idea in his head, which is appropriate for a vampire romance. Frankly, his romance is never particularly healthy, doesn't matter which path, and he even admits himself that these relationships are not his strong point. But it's certainly succulent!
That was one of the first videos I saw of his spawn path and the difference in his behaviour was very striking after finishing the ascended path in my game. I can understand him not acting so seductive anymore and being more relaxed, but him losing his spark and humour is lamentable to me. Yes, he doesn't like talking about his real feelings, no matter who he ends up as. 
