Look, I love this whole thread. It really shows the Astarion writer did his job. You can tell when a writer is good when the evil option is just as enjoyed as the hero option and that there's so much interpretation into the character itself that it spawns debate.
I've read through a good deal of the comments on here and wanted to provide my thoughts as someone who loves both Ascended and Spawn:
SPAWN:
My first playthrough, I was dead-set on doing the ritual. I wanted Astarion to have everything he wanted; freedom in the sun, power, Cazador's death, all of it. So I went through with it. What's 7000 souls? I couldn't care less, wasn't a dilemma for my Tav.
Problem came from how our relationship had evolved up till then. Through him letting his guard down and confessing his weaker moments to me, I started to see a person who would never unshackle himself from his master as long as he was afraid to admit that power wasn't everything and that sometimes you just need to grow emotionally. Up until the ritual, I saw that in him. Once the ritual was done, I realized I made a huge mistake.
If you yearn for Astarion to get past his fears in a healthy way, having him go through the ritual is not the way to do it (in my opinion). All it does is reinforce his preconceived notions that the only thing he needs to work through to emotionally "cure" his fears of Cazador and life itself is to feed him more power; the very "cure" Cazador was seeking.
I didn't want that for him. He's better than Cazador and this would lower his standing to his level. So I reloaded and convinced him to not do the ritual.
I was so much more satisfied with that ending. Astarion makes the ultimate stride on his path to truly healing from Cazador and finds that being an equal with someone you love is worth more than being more powerful than everyone. The fear itself isn't something to be detested but something to grow from. He may still have it, but it fuels his desire to live and eventually, it won't cripple him. He'll be stronger than ever at that point.
The graveyard scene is the epitamy of that. He's moving on from his fears to new and unknown horizons with the person that he loves most. Of course he'll have moments of regret. But life isn't worth living if there's nothing to fear.
ASCENDED:
Now, those were my thoughts with Spawn. Since my experience was so satisfying, I couldn't dream that Ascended would be just as good. But I was dead wrong.
When you create a character with Ascension in mind, a whole new experience happens. My character was ruthless in her need for power and Astarion was her perfect mate. We didn't let anything get in our way and we bulldozed through everything as the perfect symbiosis of power and danger.
When it came to the ritual, there wasn't a second thought. Take the power. Rule the world. We would do it together.
Then he asks you submit to his will. Why wouldn't I? This form is glorious and dark. This is wrong in such a delicious way. Damn right I'll get on my knees.
The Ascension romance is so dark and sexy that when we roamed around the world (and I used the mirror to make myself look like his spawn which totally helps with flavor), I realized that while this relationship is far too co-dependant to be anything healthy, it was just the right amount of twisted to be satisfying in a much much different way.
Plus, I can't be the only one who finds the thought of you sitting naked on his lap while he rules the world on a throne of bones and blood just sickeningly satisfying.
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My experience overall is that the Spawn ending is for the romantics. If you want a romance where you aid in the healing of Astarion's fears in a way that will empower him over time to accept who he is, you go with Spawn.
The Ascension ending is for passionate people. If you want to feel the full force of Astarion's ambitions and have him display how deep his feelings are for you and himself, you go Ascension.
Overall, I don't believe Ascension gives him more freedom; he's as much a slave to Cazador's power than ever being that he becomes like him in so many ways. But why should that be a bad thing?
