My first playthrough, I was dead-set on doing the ritual. I wanted Astarion to have everything he wanted; freedom in the sun, power, Cazador's death, all of it. So I went through with it. What's 7000 souls? I couldn't care less, wasn't a dilemma for my Tav.
Problem came from how our relationship had evolved up till then. Through him letting his guard down and confessing his weaker moments to me, I started to see a person who would never unshackle himself from his master as long as he was afraid to admit that power wasn't everything and that sometimes you just need to grow emotionally. Up until the ritual, I saw that in him. Once the ritual was done, I realized I made a huge mistake.
How interesting! I had the same feeling of a huge mistake, only in reverse, after I talked him out of the ritual the first time. I too rebooted and helped perform the ritual.
Originally Posted by vx_phoenix_vx
If you yearn for Astarion to get past his fears in a healthy way, having him go through the ritual is not the way to do it (in my opinion). All it does is reinforce his preconceived notions that the only thing he needs to work through to emotionally "cure" his fears of Cazador and life itself is to feed him more power; the very "cure" Cazador was seeking.
I didn't want that for him. He's better than Cazador and this would lower his standing to his level. So I reloaded and convinced him to not do the ritual.
I was so much more satisfied with that ending. Astarion makes the ultimate stride on his path to truly healing from Cazador and finds that being an equal with someone you love is worth more than being more powerful than everyone. The fear itself isn't something to be detested but something to grow from. He may still have it, but it fuels his desire to live and eventually, it won't cripple him. He'll be stronger than ever at that point.
The graveyard scene is the epitamy of that. He's moving on from his fears to new and unknown horizons with the person that he loves most. Of course he'll have moments of regret. But life isn't worth living if there's nothing to fear.
Indeed, Astarion's story can be interpreted and perceived in very different ways. Thanks for describing your vision, I now understand why, when I said that I wish there was a healing option for Astarion (without Ascension) in the game, some people answered me that this is his "good way", i.e. giving up the ritual. It's good that you described this in more detail and clarity.
A lot seems to depend on the "angle of view", whether the player is looking at the story from a psychological and philosophical perspective, or from a "practical", purely rational point of view. For me, healing is first and foremost about getting rid of the spawn state, it's about giving Astarion back what was taken from him so that he can enjoy the sun, not feel hungry, so that he is no longer vulnerable and safe. I saw his fear as a natural emotion of someone who has experienced such a terrible trauma. As something he would only be able to overcome in time, after he had destroyed the Cazador and gotten back what had been taken from him. But the first priority for me had always been Astarion's well-being, comfort, and safety, and time didn't matter to an immortal vampire; Astarion would have enough time to rethink, to accept himself with all his dark and light sides.
I perceived these two options as the egoistic option of Astarion's liberation and personal happiness for two (Ascension) and the option of altruistic self-sacrifice so that 7000 souls would have the right to life and could also choose their own destiny. It was interesting to read the other point of view.
By the way, the theme of power in Ascended Astarion was always in the background for me too. If Astarion wants more power later - okay, we'll plan how to organize it all more successfully, if it turns out to be possible to "relax" him, satisfied with ensuring his own safety, and spend time enjoying each other - an ideal romantic version of a happy life.
Originally Posted by vx_phoenix_vx
Plus, I can't be the only one who finds the thought of you sitting naked on his lap while he rules the world on a throne of bones and blood just sickeningly satisfying.
Yes, fantasies of Astarion on the throne are sure to visit everyone who ascended him
Originally Posted by vx_phoenix_vx
My experience overall is that the Spawn ending is for the romantics. If you want a romance where you aid in the healing of Astarion's fears in a way that will empower him over time to accept who he is, you go with Spawn.
The Ascension ending is for passionate people. If you want to feel the full force of Astarion's ambitions and have him display how deep his feelings are for you and himself, you go Ascension.
I, as a player, would like it better if both options were equal, Astarion-Ascended and Astarion-Elf, instead of Astarion-Spawn (so that it would be possible to rid him of his spawn state in another way, without sacrifices, to cure him of vampirism). Then I could have gone both ways too, creating characters of the appropriate alignment for them. But I also discovered and liked a somewhat unusual version of the roleplay - initially kind and somewhat naive Tav, who gradually changes her views on the world under the influence of Astarion, and eventually helps him ascended. This gives some additional realism to the story, makes my character even more alive for me than in a classic single alignment roleplay. Before in games it was hard to imagine such a variant and even more so to realize it.
Originally Posted by vx_phoenix_vx
Overall, I don't believe Ascension gives him more freedom; he's as much a slave to Cazador's power than ever being that he becomes like him in so many ways. But why should that be a bad thing?
Ascension gives much more freedom - Astarion won't burn in the sun, he won't suffer stomach aches from hunger, he won't be the object of ridicule as an outcast, he'll be able to see his reflection in the mirror and get what he's always wanted. He will give Cazador the retribution he deserves. And he is completely unlike Cazador, even if he sometimes contemplates it, and resemblance to Cazador is a sore subject for Astarion. He has surpassed Cazador in everything, both as a Vampire Lord and as a person, it may take many years for Astarion to free himself and heal from the pain he has endured, but it is bound to happen
