I saw this thread on page 1 a while ago and was going to respond, but then the forum was down and I forgot all about it. I hope bumping after one and a half months isn't considered thread necromancy. ^^
(The following is meant as constructive criticism / food for thought. The game is mesmerizing overall. No hard feelings, just my humble opinions, etc.)
The critique in the opening post and some of the early replies speak to me. (I haven't read much more of the thread; ain't gonna wade through 12 pages.) I just turned off nudity and sex scenes immediately when starting my first play-through, because the marketing had made it fairly clear that this aspect of the game is mostly just a gimmick/thirst-trap. If I want to play a game that's heavy on lore, story, and adventure, and immerse myself in its world, then such gimmicky sex scenes merely serve as an awkward distraction from that. Also, even if I wanted to watch characters in a video game having some adult sleepy time, the graphics of BG3 don't seem suitable for it, based on the few clips I've seen. It's almost uncanny valley territory.
That said, I think even the non-sexual parts of romance were not well done at all, but I don't know if I can fault the writers for that, because there's a fundamental issue here that's probably near impossible to solve:
If you want to have convincing, high-quality writing for a character with a rich personality, and have romance/sexuality be part of the writing, then you HAVE to give the character a sexual orientation, preferences, history, and so on. But in doing so, you will end up greatly disappointing a lot of players. Maybe I really wanted to romance Wyll with my young male elf Tav, but comes out I can't, because he's only interested in women, specifically women around his age who will live a human life-span, so they can grow old together. (That's very Wyll, isn't it?) Or maybe I really wanted to be Shadowheart's first sweetheart (there's a pun there somewhere...) but comes out this is her third serious relationship, or she's divorced, or something. ^^
So what are the writers to do? Firstly, they have to make every single character "Tavsexual," meaning they are devoid of an orientation and preferences, and instead unconditionally interested in the player character. This is already limiting in terms of writing when it comes to any one character, and becomes worse when applied to *every* companion at camp. At that point, we really get into "harem anime" or "erotic visual novel" territory, which is part of what makes the game feel overly sexualized. If you like that type of media, great! But it's not everyone's cup of tea. And also, suspension of disbelief is out the window: how convenient that everyone happens to be interested in my main character.
Secondly, though this is a weaker point, you'll want to make the relationship history of the characters nebulous to some degree, so everyone can have their fantasy. I say this is a weaker point because it doesn't actually apply to a lot of characters in BG3: Gale was in a devoted relationship with a certain someone; Lae'zel and Minthara are obviously, uh, quite experienced; Astarion has had... tragic things happen, which I guess overshadows anything else. And so on. So, props to the game for not making the characters *that* devoid of a personal history. But what about Shadowheart, for example? She's been with Shar since childhood, and maybe they strictly control relationships or something, since it's a cult of sorts. Might Astarion have had a devoted lover before being captured, or was he already a playboy of sorts? Karlach has definitely had some action before Avernus, but has she ever been in a serious relationship? These are some things you might be very curious about in a real relationship, but you don't get to ask such detailed questions in the game.
TL;DR: You can't write fully fleshed-out characters with a detailed personality, novel style, and yet give the player total freedom in forming a relationship with any of them. It's sadly an unavoidable dilemma. Personally, I would have preferred characters with a fully fleshed-out personality, even if it means my main character may end up being rejected. The devs decided to go the other way, to give maximum player freedom, which may have been the right choice for various reasons, but unfortunately it makes this aspect of the game feel gimmicky, and perhaps overly sexualized.
