I don't perceive any of this as an actual "gameplay issue", frankly.
You don't always get to choose how and when to start a fight. Nor you should be able to.
In fact, at times I deliberately choose to ignore some "meta-knowledge" I may have of an upcoming battle only because it feels more fair to play it "as intended" (i.e. with your party being approached by the attacker, if not even surprised).
