Larian Studios Forums Baldur's Gate III Baldur's Gate III - Suggestions & Feedback Larian Rommance problem

That's not even the main issue.
The issue is that just SHOWING UP to the Weave scene or to the "starry sky" one defaults to flirting-mode-on unless you try hastily to avoid it.

It goes something like this:
Gale tells you he wants to meet you in his special place to talk, you show up with the idea in your head sounding something like "I'm not interested in getting the D., but no harm in listening what a friend may have to say" and before you know the cutscene starts and your character is soavely swaying hips, effeminately sitting at an intimate close distance from the wizard (even if in your mind you though you were playing an entirely different character, sucks to be you I guess), looking intensely in his eyes and ONLY THEN you are offered the option to proceed with making out passionately or saying something gratuitously aggressive like "Fuck off, loser" and leave the scene.

There isn't a version of it where you are two friends having a chat as two equals.

That's not gradual, that's not nuanced. Everyone who thinks "You can just refuse him and you won't have the sex scene" is missing the point by a fucking mile.

Nope. Wyll simply always wants a dance with you - unless the most recent hot-fixes changed this. I didn't forget him at the party but was very distant and polite.

The change I hope that Larian makes is adding one clear, specific dialogue option that initiates a romance, just as already exists for Shadowheart. “I think we’ve missed the opportunity to truly connect,” you know, that one. You don’t initiate until you’re ready. I like how that’s done.

Sure, she will flirt with you a little still, but you will never get a romance scene or proposition from her unless you select that line.

It could very easily be implemented and solve all of the animosity surrounding unwelcome advances.

What I dislike about Shart's Act 1 is, that she asks you to share a bottle at the party, which is nice and could be a cute friendly scene of two people talking the night away if you later on didn't have to justify not kissing her. But it's the way it is. While I can understand that the magic lesson might be uncomfortable for some, you can play it as friendly (not pick the obviously romantic options) and there is no negative reaction.

I’m over the critique of the romances at this point. If you don’t want to romance someone, then either turn them down, kill them, don’t recruit them, let them stay dead if they die in battle, or With Shadowheart since you know what will happen, don’t spend the night with her. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. Just like I avoid the drow twins and pretend they don’t exist. There are options.

Romantic aspects aren’t some pollution that needs to be purged. Everyone is interested in romancing one of those characters. Yeah the advances can be annoying, but SOMEBODY welcomes them and I wouldn’t want to take that away from people. I would rather they polish Act 3 above anything else.

I feel like people can't come to terms with the fact that some scenes can be intimate without them being romantic or sexual. I lot of the complaining about romances are either bugs, which were sorted months ago, or just people being unable to process intimacy with a character they don't find sexually appealing.

Even in real life, most people share intimate moments with friends, an experience that would likely be heightened under extreme circumstances.

I prefer to spend the night with her and then disappoint her a little in the end because it gives me a private but not romantic moment with her. If you play as an Origin it is also a chance to talk about your character's life a little - though she clearly isn't prepared for the trauma dump she gets from some people *coughs*. I rather wouldn't have to disappoint her romantic expectations, but that's the way it is. She has her expectations of sharing a bottle/ connecting with each other, my character might have different intentions. What I was disagreeing on is that the scene or the dialogue to initiate it is obviously romantic in nature, it's open to interpretation (though when you initiate it before the party the romantic nature is emphasised) but that's ok. There isn't really any harm done.

Shart's little disapproval is nothing compared to the body language and facial expressions in Gale's scenes.

Conversely, I feel like you are bending yourselfin into a pretzel to make up contrived excuses for some of this stuff.
Some of the default behavior and body language on these scenes goes DEFINITELY past "friendly intimate moments".

Despite some of the controversial things that have been written about in this thread, I can't help but note that the romances in BG3 are made much more interesting and deeper than in most other RPG games. Sure, the pestering from almost all companions can be annoying, but this is completely overridden by the awesome effect of starting a romance early and suddenly with whichever companion the player is attracted to. The need to reject everyone else is, in my opinion, a minor price to pay for this. Of course, it would have been nice to soften the story somewhat, for example by giving the player the option to tell other companions that he already has a love interest and thus stop their advances.

What I really don't like is the overly strong imposition of "polyamory" in the game. Of course, you can "fight it off", ignore it, Yes, polyamorous players have been taken into account, fine, I'm sure some people like it, but monogamous players who take their romantic interest seriously (thanks to the fact that the romances in the game are really well written) can't even respond decently to the insolent people who try to get into their relationship in the third act, as part of the roleplay - the only line we can use to say that we're already in a relationship with someone makes it sound like, despite that, we're kind of okay with the molestation. During the walkthrough it felt as if the game was telling me that "any normal woman, no matter how much she loves her lover, will still be okay with "making out with a bear", and if she doesn't, it's because she just doesn't like bears, but likes illithids, succubi or something like that, and if you don't need anyone but your lover and you resent such molestations, then you are obviously in the minority, and it's just a waste of time to write lines for people like you". Just kidding, of course, it's understandable that the developers can't take everyone's interests into account, but since the game is still being finalized, I'd like to point that out as well. But in general, the game uses innovative approaches to "romance", and, as with any innovative approach, it is impossible to do without "flaws", perhaps they will be fixed later, but in BG3 there are very, very many good things that I have not seen before in other games.

Ahahahha 100% true)))

Although the game was very insistent on offering forbidden fruits, I was adamant in loyalty to my beloved (quite obviously to whom specifically). I didn't see any problems in rejecting other characters, except that some of the lines are really undeservedly rude, although there are friendly options that don't leave a bitter aftertaste. It was especially pleasant to refuse some of them, wasn't it, Mizora? Although to some extent rude lines suddenly hit the nail on the head, because I got under the influence of some "personalities"))) and changed my alignment from "sweet little druid" to "I'll turn the world upside down and rip anyone's throat out with my claws for you."

As a shy and insecure woman, I have never received such an amount of attention in my entire life, it was pleasant and heartwarming, it is a very unusual experience, even with fictional pixel creatures. It seems to me that the fact that I perceived these courtship as a sign of sincere care and warm affection helped me not to perceive it as an sexual obsession. It wasn't difficult because the feelings were mutual.

And I'm just glad that the characters are "playersexual", I want to make a choice based on the gameplay experience of my PT and RP, not at the stage of choosing the gender of my character. I REALLY understand why this game made some people doubt their own sexuality)))

I'd argue romances in BG3 are not deep at all. You select the right flirty lines until you get sex scene as reward. The end. That is not a romance. The fact that you are romancing a specific companion almost never comes up during the normal storyline. They don't act like a romantic partner at all. If you perceive any depth there, it must in your roleplaying head.
I understand that it would take an insane amount of work to make romances meaningful with so many options and potential situations, but that's just another reason to tone it down. The game should not advertise itself as a dating simulator if it does not have the right amount of content to support it.

I STRONGLY disagree with this sentiment in regard to the Shadowheart romance at least. It’s not “pushing buttons until sex,” come on. What I’ve found is that most things in the game (barring lacking aspects of Act 3) are deeper and more satisfactory the more effort you invest in them. There are ways to get the most out of a romance, and out of a character’s story, that is not just “in my roleplaying head” and it’s WAYYYY more meaningful than pressing buttons until sex. I make sure to do Shadowheart’s secret interactions throughout the game, which are very sweet, and I check in with all of my companions for their reactions regularly. You get out of it what you put into it.

Sure, you can have a lot of nice interactions with companions (even without romancing them), but these events are mostly self-contained and restricted to the narrow "romance storyline". They have no effect on the main story.

For example, you could be in a "blossoming relationship" with Shadowheart, but when the moment comes for her to decide what to do with Nightsong and you dare (!) to suggest that killing that imprisoned girl may not be the best idea, she will throw the same 30 dice roll challenge at you. Your supposed closeness to her does not make a difference. The game just ignores romance status in many cases where it should count. At least for me, it ruins the immersion.

I don’t ever remember having a 30 dice check even when I was trying to persuade her. I remember it being a 20. I do think that level of approval has an effect on the dice rolls, at least as I can recall from Lae’zel’s zaith’isk scene. (I do remember a lower threshold when romancing her, pretty sure.) But with Shadowheart nowadays, I just have her eat the Noblestalk mushroom in Act 1, and then I trust her to do what she feels she has to do. And she spares Nightsong every time. I do think that how you approach your interactions with her does affect the main story, like choosing respectful dialogue options that give her agency or making sure that the small interaction with the Noblestalk happens. That stuff directly leads to different story outcomes, and also new dialogue branches. If you do give her Noblestalk, restoring one of her memories, she expresses doubts about her faith multiple times in act 2, for example. This does not happen without the Noblestalk. So there is definitely an impact. Granted, this is not a romance specific interaction. But I feel like it’s the people who romance her who are most invested in her story, and most likely to make sure that the “secret” interactions happen?

I thought the memory about being attacked by wolves in the woods makes her question her actions when confronting the Nightsong. But that's besides the point, if you trust her to come to the right decision on her own, she most likely does, if you spent enough time with her before. If you try to convince her, to throw all her plans for the future away, you'll meet resistance. You could say what "breaks the immersion" is not trusting your (girl)friend.

Her decision in Act 3 seems to be far more random.

It is a 30 dice check every time. I know that you can have the option to "trust her" which is ambiguously framed as "staying silent". It's no wonder that so many players fail to consider this option (especially on a first playthrough). In every other situation you are expected to micromanage the actions and major choices of your companions. It's a cheap trick the game throws at you, but it is beside the point here. While your approval rating with Shadowheart matters when she makes her "free choice", it is not linked to the romance. The romance does NOT matter even during her personal questline. It's a separate lane of events. There are no gameplay consequences to romances outside these special interactions.

I combined the Karlach romance with the Durge playthrough on my quest for the platinum trophy. Her reaction to his "boyfriend" turning into a demon was absolutely nothing.

I've played Shadowheart's romance on my first playthrough, when the game launched, and I think it was a dc30 check. It's possible that they have changed it and made it overall easier to choose the good route, because on my current DU run, my DU told her to do whatever she wants, and even with just 'fair' approval she didn't kill Aylin. That was with a non-romanced Shadowheart. I didn't give her the noblestalk, and I only had her in the party in the beginning (which was enough to gain the fair approval), but after I got Karlach she stayed in camp. I actually expected Shadowheart to kill Aylin, since I didn't even bother interacting with her in camp, but it seems to be very easy now. Funny thing, I didn't even manage to uncover she was a cleric of Shar, because her dialogue in the blighted village bugged out.

Ha! Bingo! My chosen one evokes the same feelings (if I change "claws" to "sword", according to the character's class, I can wholeheartedly say the same thing). I don't think poorly written romances can evoke such emotions in people.


Yes, because the situation when a player, for example, playing without spoilers, will be forced, say, after a party, swearing all the bad words, to start the game again for a sex change because his favorite character suddenly turned out to be of a different orientation, will hardly be considered a positive gaming experience. And the need to read or view all companions in advance to take into account their orientations and not to get into such a situation, also deprives the player of the pleasure of the opportunity to fall in love with any of the companions in the process of the game, being carried away sincerely and naturally, rather than choosing in advance, as in the store. Plus, some people like to play their gender for a more immersive experience, or conversely, the other gender. I remember in Dragon Age Inquisition, where the companions were surprisingly ugly and in principle did not cause the desire to have a romance with them, I met a mage who was not my type, but at least not repulsive like the others, and even could sometimes make a good joke, and, in principle, it was more interesting to communicate with him than with the others. When it turned out that he preferred men, it was just the last straw. Of course, I didn't quit the game because of that, it had a lot of other downsides, it's the worst game in the Dragon Age series, but still, it's also an example of how romances really should NOT be written.


The Astarion romance is, for me, the deepest and most interesting in my entire gaming experience. There simply hasn't been a character like this and a romance like this before. It is built in part on the effect of surprise - impressing, startling, and evoking emotion in each of the three main romance scenes. Of course, much influenced by facial expressions and voice acting, the emotions of the characters in BG3 are conveyed so perfectly that it just feels like contact with a living person. The character behaves like a romantic partner, they have a lot of their own romantic lines when approaching him, the possibility of kissing - in other games, usually romantic lines are only spelled out in certain story scenes, the rest of the time they more often behave as ordinary. I've watched other romances on youtube - Shadowheart, Gale, Will, Karlach, Lae'zel - each character has their own "twist", there is something that can "hook" the player and each has their own circle of fans, they are different, they are individuals, the question is more about the "match" of the companion's personality and the player's personality. Can't have so many players, and each character has a lot of fans, everything happens only "in the head". I agree about the fact that it's barely mentioned in the main storyline (I only remember Withers' line about it and nothing else), it would be a good thing to elaborate on. But the companion plot is affected by the romance with him, there are special lines, and the companion plot and choices affect the romance with him.


I had a good friendship with Shadowheart, without a romance, I left it up to her to decide, and Shadowheart herself threw away the spear and didn't kill Eileen. But why should a character's decisions depend solely on having a romance with them? I guess if having a romantic relationship with Shadowheart and supporting her aspirations to become a Dark Justiciar in every way possible, or, on the contrary, despite having an affair, rarely taking her along, not giving her Noblestalk, not supporting her morally, then she will want to go the way of Shar and kill the Selunite, and that would be perfectly logical and understandable. Just like a mere friend might have some influence on her that would cause her to choose a different path, it's normal and perfectly realistic.


I wonder if it depends on something after all. With me, she always chooses the option to "let go" of her parents and go the way of Selune.

I agree that the romances in the game aren't honestly that much deeper from a game design and interaction perspective than what you get in most other crpgs I've played, though I do think they're well written. What I do disagree with is the notion that Larian advertised this game as a dating simulator. That's hyperbole I've seen several times and am honestly a little sick of. They advertised that romance would be a part of the game, along with plenty of other features. The actual time spent discussing romance was, I think, about proportionate to the amount that we actually got. Though I will also say that Larian oversold just how complex the romances in the game really were. From my limited experience at least, the romances have one or two branches and the beats are going to be the same no matter how many times you play, and you're depending on the branch you go for, you're going to be saying the same things in each playthrough (which is, I feel, an issue with the main game as well. Depending on what morality you want to play as, you're going to be saying more or less the same things each run, with race/class specific stuff mixed in).