Some of the scenes are pretty good, some are using the ol' cheap "fade to black" and some are just reusing animations made for one sex.
Problem 1) Both forms of Haarlep are using the same cowgirl animation that was made for a female Haarlep to a male player character. Watching a male Haarlep bottoming my female character(h,how?), looks funny, cheap, and breaks an otherwise powerful scene.
Suggestion: Create two more animations. One for a female/female pair(Haarlep/Player) and one for a male/female pair(Haarlep/Player). If not new animations, then change the camera angles to hide the incorrect parts of the scene? Clever camera shots can hide many mistakes and inconsistencies.
Problem 2) Karlach love scene. Reused animation that was clearly made for a female/female pair(Karlach/Player).
Suggestion: Create a unique animation for male player characters, or if not, change the camera angles to hide the incorrect parts of the scene.
Problem 3) Fade to black scenes.
Hiding the Emperor scene is understandable.
Hiding the bear scenes is understandable.
Hiding Gale's bed scene, humanoid Emperor, or Wyll's, is not.
Suggestion: Create proper animated scenes. The game is a masterpiece and deserves more than reused animations or cheap fade to blacks. You don't need expensive MO-CAP, you don't need intimacy coordinators, and you don't need a huge budget. How do i know? 'Tis what i do for a living and a hobby. You already have the assets(dialogue, narrator, music). You only have to create a few short animation loops and apply them to the proper rigs.
Is the game unplayable? Not at all. As i said, the game is already a masterpiece, but watching a cutscene with incorrect animations is like hearing a soundtrack with empty and incorrect notes. Takes part of the enjoyment out of it.
Heavily edited post for typos and formatting.
You are right in everything
The one who really has a type of scene for each gender is Minthara. I think they should all have the same.