Honestly, that's where I'm at, too. Fix the scared faces, and everything is excellent. I have zero complaints beyond that. I actually liked the new animations a lot at first, before I noticed just how weird Tav looked. I'm also not even certain the scared faces were a deliberate choice, rather than an oversight/botched attempt at making a neutral expression.
Yes, Ascended Astarion believes that relationships are a form of control ('sex, relationships, violence, they're all just different forms of control'), but that just begs the question of why he wants to control Tav specifically. The answer I always land on is that he can't bear to lose someone so precious to him, so he uses his power to ensure it can't happen. It's love expressed as toxic obsession, which is all he knows how to do at this point. The domination, in addition to being a kink he always had, also reads as someone who now feels in control of his bodily autonomy and decides exactly how much Tav can have at any given time (he starts and ends all of the kisses, on his terms). The pushes away read to me as him reinforcing the power dynamic he wants ("You get what I decide to give you, and I'll give you just enough to keep you wishing for more") and a false bravado ("See, I don't need you. So don't ever think you can take advantage of me.) He's a paranoid, power hungry, scheming beast (to use his own words about vampires) but I think he still fears being alone/rejected and wants Tav with a kind of mad desperation.
My personal favourite way to roleplay them is as power mad King and devoted consort, who to use the Dark Urge line wants nothing more than to sit on his lap, drinking blood from a goblet, while they rule based on their own murderous, debauched whims.
