so I guess we can go back to the main topic of anatomically sex scenes, isn't weirdier that that none of the male characters have erections during the sex scenes
Softcore is more than fine for video game related sex scenes. With a good animation and a few good camera shots, you can create beautiful and spicy sex scenes without directly showing penetration. Astarion's is the most daring one so far. Fully animated implied penetration(hip movement and everything), but the private parts cleverly hidden behind a candle item. Still a lovely scene.
The only thing I want to add is that I'm 80% sure the Karlach scene is meant to be like that with female and male body types alike. The cast even made a joke about it at one of the cons.
Nah, assuming we speak for the same Youtube video, the cast was simply watching the cutscenes of their in-game roles. There is no voiced dialogue during the infamous ''pegging'' animation(as the community refers to it jokingly). What really happened is that Larian created the female/female version, which looks fine, then used it on the male/female version of the scene. Maybe to save time, budget, or both. Maybe some of the companions had a specific sexuality at first(gay-straight-bi), changed to 'Player-Sexual' later in development, forcing Larian to recycle the sex animations? Lots of maybes here, but the point still stands. Some of the love scenes deserve a second pass.
I think that any kind of intimacy added to a game can greatly improve the whole experience itself, if done properly.
What's next, gonna shame us for reading erotica books or fanfiction?

You're more likely to run into those people on Twitter, you won't get any that grass touching nonsense from me, besides I have no shame nor guilt
Nothing wrong with liking or wanting more intimate scenes, despite what other people might think. Its not all about watching someone put slot A into slot B. I think for most people it has to do with bonding with their chosen companion and sometimes for some people that includes physical intimacy.
All these suggestions are great honestly, I hope people keep it going.
The romance content in general gets a lot of hate for being frivolous and not adding anything substantial to the game and story. Though, especially after seeing Gale's new kisses at the morphic pool, I strongly disagree.
PREACH IT!