Honey, you're reaching here. Very hard. No one was crying about lesbian character in Horizon Forbidden West when she was evil. Why? Because we accept that gay characters can be flawed and they should be flawed, it makes them feel human, not some caricature of a person.
Because the villainous queer female character in that game wasn't a rapist, with their evil nature demonstrated via attempted rape, and their sexuality wasn't constantly associated with being a predatory monster.
First: Astarion isn't gay. Every companion is playersexual, so maybe you should focus on Wyll, because he's a good person?
Second: Actually, people accused that certain lesbian character in Horizon about being a rapist and a groomer as well. So again, no one was angry that it was a lesbian, I haven't even met a lesbian that was angry about that storyline.
I think you're just easily offended and you're looking for a reason to be offended. And for the last time, I'll repeat - don't play Ascended Astarion path, problem solved!