I don't know what Larian is trying to do with Astarion - his story and philosophical line is fragmentary. And now his romance is fragmentary, where Tav takes the path of evil and is not afraid and accepts the rules - which is the most logical line. "Abuser romance", "look how bad" and other "proper romance"? First off, the Astarion romance is wrong and bad immediately - why does it even exist. So I win and choose Astarion's "health" - otherwise lost. Why did I "lose"? The evil-button ritual that takes away feelings? Is that what I'm supposed to believe? Book of Evil as Wish Disney, fr? Lame. True vampire. No, the first Ascended Vampire with mortal senses. The theory of the bride - good, there is dynamics and space for thought. But what kind of neatness and detailed work - we can even talk about, when "knees" just random, everywhere and with a frightened face. Psychology, the abuse cycle - please get a real expert to tell you that this is a dark way to heal. Because blood vengeance, vendetta, feud, drinking from your enemy's skull is an ancient cure. Suddenly the man who committed the vendetta became abuse-violently-evil to his love who literally helped him. Cruel to others and the world - yes, to his ally and love - no (unless asked), though Astarion is himself and just being practical in Faerun. Equality does not dictate love. Astarion this pie.... He seems to literally bind his love to himself like an ancient savage. (without stipulating the details - charlatan, but honestly, it's clear enough)
By making the romance abusive they're making it a failed romance. Why is allowing him to live his life the way he wants to and loving him with all his darker traits a failure? The abuser thing makes no sense when taking into account every other interaction with him in the game. Romancing him is indeed not the most moral thing to do in the first place. The ritual is supposed to amplify vampiric strengths and return all benefits of being human, yet Larian just turned him into a typical true vampire. Nice narrative fallacy there.
Why bother going through with all the hints of the vampire bride ritual? Astarion actually finds a scroll with ancient rituals among Cazador's belongings. That one is probably in there too. The only things that don't match up is the single drop of blood and the time it takes him to turn Tav (he does it faster), yet these requirements could be different for the Ascendant. The blood might be more potent and allow for an easier process. We also never see the red aura around Tav that would definitively prove Astarion can compel them. Clarifying this would give us the full understanding of the ascended romance.
By agreeing to become his spawn we're basically signing a deal with the devil, we know the terms. It's fair he expects us to honour the agreement. Even then, it's still possible to back out before the end and he doesn't punish Tav for that. In the epilogue he tells them he misses them. What a scary lord. I also agree, it's an alternative and darker way to heal. One selfish choice doesn't make him doomed forever. Besides, he does help Tav defeat the main enemy and in this way save thousands if not millions of souls.
Originally Posted by Marielle
(...) at the party he also declares that Tav is more precious to him than power. And... slap in the face for trying to kiss the person who is more precious to him than power. Astarion is gentle. He's only cruel to his enemies and those who don't matter to him. Tav is the only one who matters to Astarion in this world.
It's a real shame we can't kiss him after he says that.
