I hope everything is clear, I'm using Google translator.
Yes, I see this as different ways to develop a relationship with the ascended Astarion.
If there is an option with such an ending, where Astarion behaves rudely, this does not mean that he is like that and that’s it, period, we are not considering other options. No, his attitude towards our character simply depends on his attitude towards him. And many people argue based on this ending that he is an abuser in any way. I don't agree with this and I'm annoyed.
After all, if you leave the spawn at the end, for example, he also makes unpleasant dialogue, what an asshole you are Tav, I sacrificed everything for you. But for some reason, the abandoned spawn is not taken for his true image, while the ascended Astarion, with whom you are trying to break up at the end, is considered to be what he is on this path of the lord.
What am I trying to say?
- In the first version, we simply do everything to make Astarion happy, get what he wants, we give ourselves completely, this is the meaning of the conversion scene. Astarion is not even close to Kasador 2.0, he has other goals for the years, and not eternal torture. He wants a strong couple, where he is, of course, the head, and we are support and help in everything
If you accept this side of him and support him in all his madness, then in return he will behave accordingly with Tav. He will have no reason to control and use our character, because Tav himself, of his own free will, does everything and wants to be next to Astarion as a spawn consort. Tav does not go against Astarion. With Tav like this, control is not needed, he is behind all of Astarion’s plans with all his paws.
- Another thing is a character who was initially dissatisfied with what he received, he feels bad in this relationship, and Astarion feels his doubts, and of course he will manipulate and control.
Since it turns out that Astarion can still control without the tadpole, Tav can, judging by this scene (although I believe that there is banal manipulation, intimidation, without magic and mind control here), then in the first case he will not need it, Tav is obedience itself, and in the second option, yes, Tav faces a life of complete control, apparently.
We can play it both ways and it will be true, both. Here you need to understand that there are different options for Astarion’s behavior, if a character is kind to Astarion, then he will be the same in return, and if he is in conflict, then Astarion will be too.
Everything looks good for my character, because he does not resist the status of spawn consort, and supports all plans to seize power and become a powerful vampire.
From the dialogues in the romance, with complete self-acceptance and Astarion, there are no hints of control and manipulation, use. They follow the planned path.
This is why we need the correct facial expression of our character when kissing. Enjoying or neutral, or expanding the dialogues, where they would agree that Tav plays fear so that Astarion would have fun.