I think that's the only rational explanation for this mishmash of a patch. Even internally just in the patch it makes no sense whatsoever. So the Ascended really loves whilst the Spawn has friend zoned but the one who really loves is the abuser.
It kind of can make sense though if we see spawn Astarion as the one who develops emotionally on a more mature level. He is able to move on from his romantic feelings, while A!A has more of an obsessive love for Tav/DU which is a lot harder to move on from.
