In my case the trigger was specifically the throat grab but as you have no way of choosing which one of those awful interractions you get it makes little to no difference that really it's only one of them. I've rolled back to patch 5 till I finish this playthrough but I have difficulties actually wanting to play.
As to why it triggered me - well feel free to read below, its a bit of a horror story and very personal but I think maybe a few uncaring souls need to see it - hopefully someone at the studio, maybe they will have a greater understanding.
Many many moons ago my husband at the time became an alcoholic and a drug user due to some work related things. About a year later after gradually getting more and more agressive his crowning achievement was holding me by the throat over a swimming pool (because of the super strength enraged people with no boundaries seem to get occasionally) shaking me about like I was weightless because I'd upset him over something trivial. In the process he crushed my windpipe and when I was dropped I ended up in the water unable to breathe at all. I ended up in hospital - and fairly soon afterwards in a divorce court. This was so long ago (30 years back now) that I had almost completely unmemoried it until Astarion grabbed me by the throat (I won't say forgotten because you don't ever forget something like that but it was buried extremely deeply and didn't affect my life any more as very happy in my second marriage). I was sitting quite happily at my pc and then I'm in a panic attack and choaking, totally triggered, throat closed and I couldn't breathe, tring to drag in air through a closed windpipe and ended up kneeling on the floor, wet myself, had nightmares that night. Forced myself to play on a bit the following day, but none of those new kisses aleviated the panic reaction as my first husband also did similar things to the other kisses so there was no reprieve with the other animations. I'll grant those animations are accurate to abusive relationships - can't say I think that's anything to be proud of Larian. Where they are not realistic in is that they come out of nowhere and vanish immediately afterwards, Astarion shows no agression towards the player before or afterwards or indeed throughout the entire game and its all very clinical, in real life this sort of behaviour has a gradual lead up and the perpetrators don't immediately revert within seconds, they are agressive and unpleasant throughout. What you missed out on was the 'I'm sorry it will never happen again' and the contrition, possibly the tears, followed by it happening again as soon as they want.
This is not a bit of consensual role play as shown by Tavs facial animations. If it was I would still have difficulties but could probably just manage. This is a fantasy game not real life and no one should have to be treated like that in a game we use to have a bit of escapist fun. The people who think its all fine and dandy worry me if I'm honest, no one should think its fine for another person to be treated like that, no real life or game choice warrants it.
