The woman than I'm, almost 40 years old, with a high emotional maturity and no history of violence, totally agrees with the idea "everyone should be able to do as they please and imposing horrified faces is a mistake."
The mother with an emotionally immature teenager or young adult is afraid of the normalisation of violence. I believe, moreover, that full emotional maturity is not reached before the age of 25-30. Prohibiting a game until that age is not feasible.
The 16-year-old girl* that I was, was in love with Drizzt Do'Urden and duncan idaho. If my heroes had undergone a psychological shift in their story and became violent, would I have been an easier prey for narcissistic abusers? I don't think so... Relax, Mom! But, I cannot speak for everyone.
When I read that people who have experienced violence feel bad about the cinematics... even though it hurts, I think it's a good starting point for them to question themselves: why did they choose this path on their own and freely?
I'm pretty old, so I've seen a lot of moral panic about the Dark Romance genre over the years, it's nothing new and a lot of it seems to be based on the sexist assumption that female fantasies are dangerous and need to be policed. That women's brains and emotions are less stable and therefore need shielding from unsuitable influences. The idea that young women (under 25) need moral guidance in their choice of fiction is just so Victorian; I cannot believe this argument is still being put forward in the 21st century!
The idea that women deliberately pick abusive partners is also a myth (some women will experience abuse from more than one partner and there are reasons why that happens but this is not the place to discuss it). I'll just say this: In real life, abusive partners start out by being nice, usually very nice. And they don't say upfront that the flowers, compliments and fun times are going to be gradually replaced with contolling behaviour and verbal and physical abuse, because nobody would ever date them if they did. It is a parent's job to bring up their children (not just daughters) with enough confidence and self-worth that they know they should never tolerate abusive behaviour from anyone. Good parentling cannot come from a video game and it shouldn't.
If you don't believe this line of argument is sexist, just consider why not one person has been agonising over how Ascended Astarion's behaviour might be influencing young, vulnerable, hetrosexual males (because that would be ridiculous, right?).
And you would like me to consider my choices. I don't really see why I should have to explain myself to random people on the internet but in the interests of discussion and exchanging ideas, I'll bite.
Why did I pick Ascended Astarion? Short answer because he seemed the most interesting character out of all the companions and I thought he was a lot of fun. I like Dark Romance, so he was an obvious choice, especially since my character was not making morally good choices a lot of the time. They complimented each other. I also picked Unascended Astarion on a play-through because I wanted to explore his character from all angles, but I never thought either version of Astarion was 'nice'. Now I am having to look at my character looking absolutely terrified of A.Astarion when asking for a kiss and it is triggering.
And no, I don't think I am in any danger of having my terrible taste in fictional partners for my fictional characters spill over into real life.
