I don't see why Larian can't come up with something that can cater to both scenarios without having kisses that trigger players doing the romance.
I did mention this in another thread where as an improvement for a kiss I though it would look better if Tav bit Astarion after which Astarion holds Tav back looking at her (where we can wonder what is he gonna do) before kissing Tav deeply. And Starryphonic mentions that in that scenario a slightly conserned face would be appropriate. Which I agree with, although I would maybe like a sly face more. And that is just one option for a kiss that I don't think would be so problematic (assuming it is done right) and would potentially work for many more players.
Instead of a throat grab I had also the idea of making it so he has his hand on Tavs cheek and his thumb under her chin pushing Tavs head upwards to meet his lips. I'm not sure if it would be acceptable to everybody, just a thought to make it more accessable but still with the kink. He would still be dominating with the potential to do a throat grab even though he doesn't in the scene.
And just my opinion here but I think the game should try and include as many players as possible and leave the mods to cater to the extreme ends in the romance scale. Not the other way around.
Larian has the means to do this, and make it playable for everyone. I still have hopes for us and them.
