In the text I highlighted the most interesting quotes for me. And so, yes, it is interesting just to listen to them.
I'm not in the industry so obviously I have no sway or authority here, and I'm also not sure I have the energy right now to sit through the entire talk, but one thing that really sticks out to me is the idea that "complex" relationships necessitate toxic behavior like gaslighting. I already felt like my relationship with Astarion was complex without any toxicity. Hell, I feel like my actual relationship with my actual husband is complex without toxicity. We disagree on things. We have different perspectives. But we don't gaslight or get nasty with each other.
Sorry, this is making me like, physically upset. Astarion doesn't need to be an abuser in order to be an interesting romance companion. The game can punish me for seeing him as my property (with Araj) or a sex object (with having sex with him after he opens up about being a sex slave, I guess? Even though that didn't happen in my playthrough), but to steamroll us with bad dialog options after ascending him feels wrong.
And I get that some people are going to say, "Well, you should get that it was a bad choice because obviously look how evil the ritual was and you also had to sacrifice 7k people" but the game already imposes consequences that make sense. If you go through with the ritual, you have to contend with the Gur, and as far as I know you probably won't get their help in the final battle. Astarion's personality does change, and some people don't like it, so that's also a consequence.
But like with all consequences, sometimes you decide you're willing to live with them, and that should be okay. Like I might tell my kid, "It's fine if you want to stay at the playground for 10 more minutes but that means we won't have time to watch more Paw Patrol before bed (she's watching it right now and UGH I hate that show so it's on my mind)." She can decide if that consequence is okay with her. Can she stomp her feet and say, "No, I want both?" Sure, but that's not how it works. I can't ascend Astarion without the consequence of his personality changing (or revealing itself, as a lot of people see it), and I as the player get to decide if I'm cool with that. Just as I can decide if I'm okay with betraying the Tieflings in the Emerald Grove. To punish the player after they've already decided to accept the consequences would be the equivalent of me going to my daughter and saying, "Okay, you picked staying at the playground longer, but I don't like that choice so now you don't get to do either, or I'm going to just pick for you even though I set it up as your choice, or I'm imposing some other unrelated punishment because you pissed me off for some reason."
I've said it in other threads and I'll say it again here. There can be consequences for making bad decisions in games. A punishment for playing the game as we were allowed to, by giving us options that make no sense, is not the same thing.