Honestly, while I know this isn't a perfect answer to what's being asked for here, I think a lot of posters here would find a romance that's more suited to what they're looking for (in regards to healthier D/S dynamics with an evil elf, at least) by playing Marazhai's romance in Rogue Trader. That romance does a lot of what's being asked for here, and it's quite popular and well liked.
