I think that gets to a lot of what bothers me about the AA hate discourse. I definitely feel this twinge of kinkshaming to the criticism. I mentioned before that a clip of post-Ascension Astarion telling Tav "you await my command" seemed to instill a lot of ill feelings in people who don't prefer that path and is one of the many pieces of evidence presented that AA is abusive (and to be fair, some folks who like AA don't like that line either). I'll out myself a bit too and say that line felt like it was speaking directly to my kinks. Every time I re-watch that scene you pretty much have to peel me off the floor.
And honestly, and this is something I'm fully willing to admit could be me reading way too much into it, but I read a little bit of kinkshaming into some of the companions' reactions too. Pretty much none of them approve of the Ascension, which doesn't mean they don't approve of D/S, but there's this air of, "Astarion is clearly evil now. I can't quantify in what way he's more evil than before (again, the 7k souls could still die even without ascension), but just look at him!" Very Willow from Buffy, "I'm a bloodsucking fiend! Look at my outfit!"
It turns out that in order to show "Oh, how evil Astarion is!" and to introduce "abusive relationships" into the game, the author used the theme of the BDSM community. Against the backdrop of the fact that the game welcomes tolerance, there is an opportunity to roleplay a character of any gender and sexual orientation (unless, of course, you do not ascend Astarion), why the hell, let me ask you, in this case, one of the forms of sexual relations between people, they use in order to "show evil"? In the eyes of someone unaccustomed to using critical thinking who is far removed from this subject, the picture that emerges is that "the dominant is evil", and "the submissive is the victim", and the victim, moreover, should still be ashamed of something. Well, or they think that if it says "victim", then they can be "shamed", "victim" is someone weak, and nothing will come back to you from the "victim". I myself do not feel any shame for this "criticism", you yourself gave an excellent example of the quality of this "criticism". But I understand that many people take this nonsense seriously, I sympathize with them, and I think that the use of propaganda methods, at least propaganda of "healthy relationships", at least anything in the game, and the use of propaganda methods and leads to such mass attacks on the "opposition", clearly does not honor the creators of this game. Just a little advice, if you are offended by some opinion, try to stand back and evaluate the quality of that opinion and the level of intelligence of the person who states that opinion. It will immediately become easier.
However, if authors wish to introduce the topic of D/s relationships into the game, they should consistently research the topic, consult with those in the community who are knowledgeable about the subject matter. Be mindful of the consent of both partners, and not show any variant of human sexual relationships as an example of "in-game evil" or "abusive relationships". And if the character is not exclusively described as "dominant" or "submissive", but is a popular character who is loved by a large number of players, you should also give a classic romantic variant or a gentle, softened version that would appeal to regular players as well.
Originally Posted by starryophonic
Karlach is the only one who acknowledges Tav being a spawn and her line, "I hope he treats you well, if he's even able to" just reads as so condescending and makes me feel like all the companions look at spawn Tav with pity, even though transforming was entirely their decision. I've killed at least one avatar of a god at this point. I think if my vampire boyfriend gets a little overactive, I can handle it.
There's this. "'Karlach, I hope you'll stop whining about how you're going to die, find a way to wipe your snot and do something about it, if you're even able to." So I choose a bright future for Lae'zel with Orpheus, and Illithid becomes someone who likes to whine a lot... And at first I liked her, almost like a friend. Next time I'll have a normal friend - Minthara, who I unfairly killed off the first time without knowing anything about this character. Didn't spoiler her lines, but I'm hoping for more appropriate reactions.
Originally Posted by jinetemoranco
Honestly, while I know this isn't a perfect answer to what's being asked for here, I think a lot of posters here would find a romance that's more suited to what they're looking for (in regards to healthier D/S dynamics with an evil elf, at least) by playing Marazhai's romance in Rogue Trader. That romance does a lot of what's being asked for here, and it's quite popular and well liked.
I've read raves about this romance from fans of it. I don't look for D/s romances in games myself, but big kudos to Owlcat Games for being able to show the dark eldar properly and consistently, in line with canon. But I would have liked to be able to play with Astarion, he was the one I wanted to play with, and he was the only reason I didn't quit this game. And for his sake, I studied the D/s topic to understand him better, to understand why he needs it, and, accordingly, to accept this option. I put enough emotional and intellectual effort into accepting this D/s option before it finally turned into sadism in the game. And I think the game's authors should also put some effort into making this relationship option possible for acceptance. And as the game is now, it's unacceptable to anyone, neither D/s fans nor other AA fans.
