One of my gripes with UA has always been that he turns fairly vanilla, as if the kink was just part of his act. Which bothers me on several levels. At the most basic, there's a subtle implication that kink is somehow 'wrong' in that only an evil character would partake.
I don't think any kinkshaming is inteded by a game, though I can understand why it might feel this way with a self-insert Tav - I use that term without prejudice and simply because I can't think of a better word atm. If you look at the game more in terms of conveying a narrative, the companions start out as heavily molded by their previous environments, this is present in their general behaviour and believes as well as their sexual preferences. Shadowheart rejects close relationships because Shar doesn't approve, Gale is into hyper complex Weave tantra because he sees his only value in his mind, Astarion projects hypersexuality because this was his life until now, Lae needs to add domination and pain because that's what her culture is all about.
As you develop your friendship and romances with the characters, you can see a glimpse of something different that is not shaped by the characters' previous environments: Shadowheart yearns for a caring environment, enjoys nature and wants to reunite with her past; Gale does like the dirty earthly sensations quite a bit when being able to explore them with a loving partner; Astarion does not want to be treated as a tool and might not even care about sex at all (there's different nuances to all his three dialogues Araj, Araj-firendly, Yurgir); and Lae allows more than domination to enter her mind and (at least if you loose the duel) decides she does not like to see her partner in real pain.
If you leave your companions/partners on their original paths, their original believes intensify; if you delve more into the side of them that strengthens the bond of friendship and love, the new things they discovered about themselves become more relevant.
Again, I can understand how this might feel like kinkshaming, if something you enjoy is related to a character's unresolved path, but otoh there are plenty of kinky things in the resolved versions too that are not set up to make you feel bad about them. I might be wrong, but I think Shart is the only one who does enjoy the orgy at the brothel - but she does want to have her special night with the PC before; the power-play in Lae'zel's act 1 scene is in no way portrayed negatively; Gale's appreciation of the PC's unwashed odour and that he gets turned on by being in mortal peril with his beloved are both part of his "good" path. Astarion, finally, I personally find it refreshing to have a character who might not really care about sex too much. This might not be a kink, but it is still something I feel is not socially accepted.
Originally Posted by Marielle
«It was important to us to portray sex as more than a trophy for complying with a companion's quest line. In Baldur’s Gate 3, you are encouraged to navigate your relationship – to argue with your partner and challenge their way of thinking.»
The funny thing is, I think this is both true and that it was horribly executed in Astarion's case. I just did Astarion's romance again after spending time with Gale and while I think that conflict as a way to deepen the relationship was done brilliantly in Gale's case, for Astarion it often runs down to arguing for the sake of arguing, without being able to carry a position you have held in one conversation over into the next. For example when crossing into Act 3, you have a conversation about the ritual with him. Along with the more hesitant answers, you can fully approve of doing the ritual or agree to do more research. When entering Rivington proper, you again talk about finding his siblings with him but now all your dialogue options are hesitant bordering on fearful.
